April 05, 2019

Positive Birth Affirmations That Work

April 05, 2019/ Sonia Nicolson

It might be a ‘trend’ thing right now but Positive Birth Affirmations are being, and have been, used for many many year, births and in different cultures. These affirmations are said and read, and help a woman in labour to mentally and physically prepare to and birth their baby. The aim is to support the labouring Mothers body and ability to give birth with positive words, phrases, thoughts and therefore beliefs. They also help to support the birth partner in supporting the labouring mother and to help encourage their roles as new parents.

Personally, I like the idea of them and actually started my labour with an affirmation to myself in the bathroom mirror right after my waters had broken. However, they went out of the window from that point. But if these are something you’d like to use, I have made some graphics below for you to save and either print and stick up around your home, or save and use as a wallpaper on your phone - see below for my thoughts on each affirmation with Mia’s birth in mind.

Click on an AFFIRMATION, save and use

I am not alone. My baby is journeying with me.jpg

I am strong, confident, assured, and assertive.jpg

I look forward to embracing this empowering experience.jpg

My baby knows the exact right moment to be born.jpg

My baby will be born when he is ready.jpg

My baby will be born when she is ready.jpg

The power and intensity of my contractions cannot be stronger than me, because it is me.jpg

Women all over the world are birthing with me.jpg

She believed she could, so she did | to me, this is more of a small biz type boss term seen on Instagram or Pinterest more than in birth.

Women all over the world are birthing with me | THIS, this is what I thought about throughout my pregnancy, labour and delivery. I used to live in India and often thought about women in slums, giving birth with no medical support. If they can do it, then I flipping can.

Hold the vision, Trust the process | I didn’t hold any vision but I did 110% trusted in my body and my baby. I knew and fully believed my body knew what it was doing and I just had to go with it.

I look forward to embracing this empowering experience | I still struggle with this one. Yes, I am still in shock that I birthed my baby in a natural way. Ingimar said I was his Wonder Woman - that’s pretty empowering.

I am a strong and capable mother | Well, I had no idea what kind of mother I’d be but I could only hope for this one. I am a strong, capable and stubborn wife and had managed 9, almost 10 months of pregnancy pretty well.

My baby will be born when she is ready | Absolutely, and this was what I kept in my mind as the midwife and hospital were starting to discuss induction - I knew we weren’t headed for that and baby would be fine coming in her own time.

I deserve the birth I desire | Hmm, I didn’t really have a birth I desired as such. I wanted a safe delivery, a happy and healthy baby so yes, I desired a safe birth but was open to medical advice where required.

I am strong, confident, assured, and assertive | I sure am all of these things BUT put me naked in a birthing pool with my husband and a complete stranger speaking to him in another language and I might lose some of that confidence and strength. I was self-assured though Ingimar did a great job, as did the midwives, but I was so in the zone that I have no idea what anyone else said to me.

My baby knows the exact right moment to be born | Again, I trusted fully in my body and my baby so this one is true.

I trust in my ability to birth | Yup!! It’s all-natural and woman has been doing this for generations. My Mum did it, her Mum did it and so on - I sure as heck could do it too.

I am completely relaxed | Surprisingly I was and it was because I kept telling myself or rather reassuring myself that I was. I do think that we have a very powerful mind and we can easily manipulate how we feel. So in labour we can easily be worried, stressed and so on OR we can choose to relax and trust our bodies. I did this. I told myself to relax, to listen to my body and baby, to breathe and to stay calm and present.

I let go and give in | Having said all the positives above, I did get to a point where I turned to Ingimar and said that I couldn’t do it. I only said that once and then the midwife told me I was 10cm and it was time to push. It was hard to let go and give in - I never really felt to urge to push so as much as I was trusting in my body, I found it hard to give in to the contractions and let my body take over - though I certainly didn’t fight it.

Everything is going to be ok | and it is. Whatever happens, your baby will be delivered.

My birth will be a joyous birth | This is actually hard for me still as my pregnancy and labour were fine but my delivery was bl**dy hard work and left me in a bad way. I had tears and an episiotomy to heal (which I later had repair surgery on). I’d love to say it was a joyful birth but the truth is that I was in shock, I was sore, I could feel myself tearing, I could feel some of the stitches. It felt more like surgery than how I had imagined birth to be. I struggled to sit, to get up, to nurse my baby. I was a mess and fought very hard to ignore all of that and enjoy those precious first moments.

I am not alone. My baby is journeying with me | I think if I had put my mind to it then this would have been true but I felt less connected to my baby once my waters had broken. I’m not sure if this was because she was on the way out and so the idea of ‘bump’ revealing herself as Mia was difficult to imagine. I felt like they were almost separate entities and it was hard to imagine her making her way down the birth canal but no she or I were ever alone. My birth was about my baby coming out into the world. Ingimar helped make me feel as comfortable as he could, I did what I could to help progress in my labour and safely deliver our baby but it was about Mia.

The power and intensity of my contractions cannot be stronger than me, because it is me | True but a little airy for me. I don’t think I had or have a clue about what my body is truly capable of, in a positive and negative way. I had no idea how strong my contractions could get and how much pain I could handle - and thank goodness for Gas and Air, I still don’t.

What POSITIVE BIRTH AFFIRMATIONS did you use?

My Natural Labor & Delivery Story

April 02, 2019/ Sonia Nicolson

I sit here, in bed, recovering from my recent post-birth operation, and am finally getting into the headspace to actually write about our experience of becoming parents so today I sharing our natural labor and delivery story. Our first child, Mia Elisabet, was born on the 21st June 2018 at Landspítali Hospital here in Reykjavik, Iceland. I had 13 hours, natural labor, and Mia arrived safe and sound into the world at 5:25 pm. Here’s a rundown of the big day.

watch the video

Acupuncture (avoiding induction)

In the run-up to my due date, I had met with our midwife Harpa at Bjorkin as, for some reason, the hospital and our local midwife were started to discuss the idea of an induction. I wanted to avoid this and so we discussed our options and she offered to do some acupuncture on me. I had never tried acupuncture before but found it very relaxing and well, let’s just say I believe it contributed a great deal to the next steps.

Braxton Hicks Contractions & Real Contractions

Braxton Hicks contractions are the contractions you might feel before you are actually in labor. They act as a warm-up, preparing your body but can drive you mad as you hope they will quickly turn into the real deal. There are a few ways to tell if your contractions are the ‘real’ or practice Braxton Hicks. Read up on this - but basically, it’s all about timing and if they increase in frequency and strength. On the plus side, they tend to be more uncomfortable than painful and are a good sign as they help your body prepare for birth. Use this time to also prepare yourself mentally for contractions too.

As many women do, I had Braxton Hicks contractions on and off for days before my waters actually broke. They didn’t get too bad - similar to a strong menstrual cramp - and were helped by massage (time for your partner to get involved) and a hot shower / hot water bottle to ease the discomfort.

The day before

Such is life, we can never pick the perfect time to naturally go into labor and so we were far from ready. We had been ready, but then we went through the second kind of ‘nesting period’ and switched up a load of our appliances so the apartment was a mess. We had a new fridge/freezer and dishwasher delivered but not yet fitted. Ingimar and I tried to move the fridge into position - mostly Ingimar, obviously - and the dishwasher was still sitting in the living room on cardboard waiting to be installed. I had just been to the second-hand furniture shop to buy a chest of drawers for the nursery, so they sat in the middle of the room waiting to be cleaned and painted. And to add to what I thought I would have time to achieve before I went into labor, I had just collected a fridge full of Isey skyr for collaboration and was getting ready to shoot those pictures.

So not the best timing, eh?!

The night before

Ingimar and I went to bed early, cuddled up, and watched ‘Knocked Up’ (as recommended by our Midwife as a fun but kinda realistic labor movie). Ingimar fell asleep, I finished the film and then drifted off. I woke up at 4 am with an odd sensation and wasn’t sure if I needed to go to the toilet (safe bet as you go all the time when pregnant) and, yup, it all started.

The big day | Thursday 21st June 2018

I asked Ingimar to keep a timeline of my labour and delivery

04:15 | Sonia wakes as her waters break and goes to the toilet

It’s a very odd feeling, a calm feeling really. It doesn’t happen dramatically and so you’re not sure if you just lost control of your bladder but then it doesn’t stop. Slowing but surely your waters have gone and the real adventure begins. I was feeling a little nervous but mostly excited, actually I was surprisingly excited. It sounds cheesy but I looked in the mirror and said to myself “you can do this, it’s time to have a baby“.

05:20 | Sonia wakes Ingimar

Contractions started pretty much as soon as I returned to the bedroom and had told Ingimar. I took 2 paracetamol and lay down in bed. The contractions were similar to Braxton Hicks or very strong period pains but they were starting to get stronger, longer and faster.

05:20-08:30 | Ingimar is timing the contractions on the Pregnancy+ app. They are hard and long, harder than we expected so early into the labour, it’s a little confusing so Ingimar calls the hospital to speak to them and let them know what our situation is. He then calls Gran Roza (over in Scotland) to let her know what’s happening and she looks up flights right away.

I spent a lot of the latter part of my pregnancy reading and watching positive birth videos to get a good idea of what to expect and try to appreciate how different each Mothers birthing experience can be. I was very open to whatever was going to happen and tried to be as relaxed as I could - after all, baby was going to arrive how and when baby arrived. I had read about positive affirmations but wasn’t really sold on any. I knew about Hypnobirthing and had listened to some podcasts and tracks, but hadn’t really done much more. I read and read blog posts and articles on breathing - one stuck in my mind, I had been practising it.

Breathing Colour: so I did. I would breathe in a colour…and then breathe out that colour until it faded in hue completely - I did this, and this only for over 2 hours at home.

I lay in bed, on my side, breathing in and out colours as Ingimar made calls. I’m not sure if we had music on but I had made a playlist and it wasn’t even used at any point in my labour. With no idea how I would progress, I asked for a cup of tea (laughable really) and some toast. By the time Ingimar returned with it, I was clearly progressing fast with hardly any breaks between contractions. He called the hospital again and they told us to come in.

08:30 | After speaking with the midwives for the second time, Sonia gets up and dressed, we leave for the hospital. The contractions are now passing 3 minutes in length.

I got up and slowly pulled some clothes on (a challenge indeed, why did I bother really). Ingimar ran down to the car with my hospital bag and made sure the car seat was fitted and ready. He brought the car to the door and came back up to help me. I was struggling to get dressed between contractions as they were so close together. From the bottom up I had managed my UGG slippers, Ingimar’s grey joggers (yup, light grey, so my still leaking waters were showing), but my own top and he put his dressing gown around me. Classy - not the outfit I had planned to arrive at the hospital in.

09:10 | Arrive at the hospital.

Driving to the hospital must have been a nerve-wracking journey for Ingimar to make but he appeared very calm. Luckily it’s only a 10-minute drive and rush hour (not that there really is one in Reykjavik) was over. Being in labour and being in a car is an interesting experience - and one that takes skill in hovering over the seat and holding onto anything whilst your body contracts. Luckily it is natural for your body to slow down a little when you change the environment so I only recall having a few contractions in the car, and they were shorter. I do remember being stopped at the traffic lights whilst having a contraction and pulling the hood of Ingimar’s dressing gown over my head to hide from the cars beside us.

Arriving at the hospital, no car parking space found - typical - Ingimar dumped the car at the door and we went in. I had written an “emergency: wife’s in labour “ sign to put in the windscreen but it was probably still on my desk at home. We took the lift up to where the midwife was waiting for us, she took us into a small room, helped me take my clothes off and examined me before covering me with a hospital gown.

Between the journey, the contractions, all the breathing, I was a little delirious and thought that the midwife was our friends’ wife - she just looked like. The midwife was pregnant herself and so after my labour, I was convinced that our friend’s wife was pregnant. I was clearly already losing it and I’d only had 2 paracetamol!!

09:30 | Dilation is not far 1-2 cm

When the midwife told me that I was only 2cm dilated, I couldn’t believe it. I got worried. If I was already in this much pain and discomfort at only 2cm, how the heck would I cope?! I asked for something to help with the pain. She told me that one of the bigger rooms was almost ready so if I could hold on then I’d get something in the room. A few strong contractions later and we were walking into our birthing suite.

The room was big. A suite. We joked that we had the 5-star suite. There was a bed and a good-sized birthing pool, and there was Gas and Air. Thank goodness. We closed the curtains as I felt very aware that there was a building site opposite us. I got into my own clothes - a black cotton nightdress and a t-shirt over the top. I started to walk back and forth in the room, breathing in the gas and breathing out colours. I did this for hours, I didn’t speak, I just walked back and forth. I think this was possibly the quietest hours Ingimar has ever experienced with me. I was in the zone, focussed and doing my thing.

All this time Ingimar was updating the family and my Mum and her partner were on their way to Glasgow to board a flight to Iceland. I had no idea.

11:00 | Dilation is 5-6 cm

The midwife left us pretty much to it, she came in to do her check-ups, help untangle the Gas and Air tubing, and chatted to Ingimar in Icelandic. Thankfully she reported I was now almost 6cm dilated. I felt relief, what I was doing was working, it felt good and I was in control. She said I could go into the birthing pool at any point so just to let them know and they’d prepare it. I was happy to keep walking for now but really wanted to try the birthing pool - in my mind, I felt like, if I left it too long then I might be too late for the pool.

Ingimar continued to update the family. Mum boards her flight.

13:00 | Dilation is close to 8cm, Sonia enters the birthing pool

I walked back and forth for almost 4 hours. I would stop every now and then to hold onto Ingimar and stretch my back out as much as I could. I also lent over the bed as he massaged my back but it felt better to be constantly moving. I felt good, in control and managing on just Gas and Air.

The midwife brought in a birthing ball and Ingimar helped me onto it. I bounced once and immediately stood up and kicked the ball away. I felt like the bounce had moved baby further up and certainly didn’t want that feeling. She then suggested we move to the pool to see if that helped baby.

The pool looked inviting but trying to get in and out would be a little challenging. I took my clothes off, the midwife checked me before I got in and said I was almost 8cm. wow!! Once in, it wasn’t as relaxing as I had thought and I felt a lot more exposed. Naked in a pool, feeling and looking HUGE with two fully dressed people sat in front of you chatting in another language whilst you deal with contraction is a very odd feeling. I took the mask off and tried to join in the conversation between contractions. The midwife was trying to get Ingimar to go for some food as this would be a good time before it all got very real. I said go, then held the mask back tightly on my face as another contraction hit.

Ingimar was back in no time.

They asked how I felt - I honestly just felt like I had to do a poo and that it was stopping the baby from coming. From my research, I knew that this was a good sign in labor as baby makes their way down the birth canal but I felt like I was blocking it. They got me out of the pool, on the bed and I was given a suppository. After a few minutes, I tried to use the bathroom (a first in front of Ingimar) but he patiently helped me on and off the toilet and then back into the pool.

14:00 | Sonia enters the birthing pool again

Back in the pool, the weight of baby was off me and the longer I was in the pool, the more comfortable I got. Suppository in and now naked in a pool, I didn’t care what that outcome was - I held the Gas and Air mask tight over my mouth so it covered most of my face, eyes closed and breathing deep - I was in the zone and fully in my own headspace.

The midwife kept a constant check on baby and said her pulse was a bit high, and that they wanted me out of the pool and back on the bed for monitoring. It was all very calm and no one was at all worried so I got out, waddled to the bed and they checked me again. A few hard contractions hit and I asked to go back in the pool. The midwife said not just yet…

I didn’t realize that this was it, baby was coming and I wouldn’t be getting back in the pool.

Mum lands in Iceland, Ingimar’s sister meets her at the airport and they make their way to the hospital (they met Mia only 2 hours after she was born).

15:30 | Sonia is almost fully dilated and pushing commences

I was almost 10cm, still on Gas and Air, back on the bed, and trying out different positions. This is when I really started to feel the peak of pain, the challenge, and the struggle to keep believing I could do this. I was strong enough and to keep trusting in my body. I knew it knew what to do but it felt like it couldn’t do anymore. I turned to Ingimar and said ”I can’t do this. Maybe I should get an epidural or something, what else can they give me?” At that point the midwife said it’s too late, you’re 10cm, time to start pushing.

I lay back on the bed, I couldn’t believe I was about to deliver our baby. This bump was a baby, a real person and we would meet her soon. But I was so naive to think that it would happen soon and I would just push a few times, and out she’d pop.

I had no idea how to push, I just felt like I was doing it wrong. It wasn’t working. That sounds ridiculous but I hadn’t read up on it. The midwives were speaking Icelandic and Ingimar was doing his best to translate, help me, speak to them and keep calm. I was trying to stay calm, stay strong, stay in the zone but I didn’t know what was happening to my body or my baby, and if I was doing it right. I didn’t want to be lying down. I didn’t want to push yet, I didn’t feel ready. I took a deep breath, dug my chin down, and pushed and pushed and pushed.

17:00 | We are crowning and Sonia touches her daughters head for the first time

The midwife shift changed and we had a new midwife. I was now on a bed (where I didn’t want to be), with a new midwife and a husband who was not afraid of watching what was going on. I asked Ingimar to stay up at me, but then I did also keep asking him what he could see. The poor guy. The midwife told me to put the Gas and Air down and just go with the contractions. I kept pushing.

Finally, after countless pushes, Ingimar said he could see her head - we were crowning. The midwife kept telling us that our baby would be here in the next contraction and to puuuush, I did so for 2 long hours. It was confusing, frustrating, exhausting - it took every muscle in my body. It took all of my remaining focus. It took everything we both had to give at that moment. I reached down to feel her head and her hair. I needed the motivation. Laying my head back on the bed, I looked up at the monitor and watched as a contraction started and I pushed with everything I had.

They don’t call it the ‘Ring of Fire’ for nothing and it came as a shock with a side of panic to me, but once I knew what it was, I knew it wouldn’t be much longer before my baby was safely delivered. I let out an animal-like groan, Ingimar took my hand and said I’ll do it with you, we roared. We did this for 2 to 3 pushes - we were loud.

The midwife said she needed to make a small cut to help baby, I had torn twice by this point so they gave me an episiotomy.

One push and her head was born, two contractions later, one push, and Mia was born.

17:25 | Sonia is holding our beautiful baby girl in her arms (Dad gets skin to skin later)

Mia is placed on my tummy as the umbilical cord was too short. She is perfect. She cried. She calmed, I calmed. She is our everything, instantly. I love her.

I plan to follow up on this blog post with a Postpartum, 4th Trimester, recovery story, and other related blog posts (and videos too but let’s not get ahead of ourselves). I have kept my labor & delivery story as honest and positive as possible, after all, it was a very positive experience and one I want to record and look back on but this doesn’t mean that it went without problems. I was left with some serious tears and an episiotomy to heal and I feel it is important to talk about that too.

If you have any questions or tips/advice you want to share, please comment below as I feel it is very important to be open and honest in talking about your experience with childbirth. Please keep comments supportive and kind.

Welcome to the world Mia Elisabet

Mia's 1 Year Old!!

March 25, 2019/ Sonia Nicolson

Dear Mia,

Happy 1st Birthday!! Wow, my baby girl, you are one. A whole year of you and our lives have never been better. We love you so sooo much and you are with us in everything we do. We have traveled and adventured and shared some awesome memories. You came on our honeymoon and we loved it, a family trip which we didn’t want to end…and so we kept on traveling to Scotland and Crete to make sure we made the most of the big celebrations and adventures.

Crete

We celebrated your birthday with a holiday to Crete where we joined your cousin Nori, who has the same birthday as you. We flew out with Gran Roza and Eric and then met up with Nori, Ted, Uncle Rob, and Auntie Amy at their hotel for a fun day and a big buffet meal where you sat at the top of the table and happily cheers’d everyone. We had cake and cake, and sang and danced and swam and had lots and lots of fun in the sun.

Edinburgh, Scotland

We had a lovely little family party for you at Gran Roza’s house, where Mummy grew up. Your cousins, Aunts and Uncles and lots more came to celebrate your first birthday. We played in the garden, ate yummy food, and admired how you’ve grown and changed in that pictures of you over the last 12 months.

The Cake Smash

Well, seen as all the cool kids are doing it, we had to try a little cake smash but it seems you didn’t agree and weren’t all that into smashing up Mummies cake so we just sang happy birthday to you in English and then Iceland, and tucked into the yummy cake.

Happy 1st Birthday Monkesita, Senorita, Princessa. Mummy & Daddy love you very much xx

Welcome to the world, Mia Elisabet

August 23, 2018/ Sonia Nicolson

Welcome to the world Mia Elísabet, born on the 21st of June 2018 at 5:25 pm in Reykjavik, Iceland.

We wanted to capture something of the big day without oversharing or being too graphic so please enjoy the vlog above. My waters broke at 4:15 am and one of the biggest days of my life started. I labored for 13 hours on 2 paracetamol and wonderful gas and air and enjoyed the benefits of the birthing pool twice before Mia was born. A healthy bundle of joy at 50cm long and 3.965 grams.

watch the video

Mummy and Daddy love you so so much Mia xx

Pregnancy Diaries: Pregnancy Photoshoot at the Blue Lagoon, Iceland

June 16, 2018/ Sonia Nicolson

Minh of @instantdeviephotography got in touch via Instagram a few months back to ask if I'd be interested in doing a maternity photoshoot whilst she was in Iceland. I thought "why not, this could be fun and a really special memory of bump" so I agreed and got Ingimar on board too. The months went by, the bump grew bigger and we planned out the shoot. I choose the Blue Lagoon as the location as it was where Ingimar took me on our first date, on my first ever trip to Iceland. There is a park right by the entrance that you can access and use to capture the amazing landscape - and it worked perfectly.

watch the video

We met up with Minh and her husband (and photography assistant on this trip) Keith. Even though we had never met in person, and had never done a photoshoot like this before, she put us completely at ease and we felt so comfortable. I was surprised how fun the shoot was, we had a good laugh and it was easy. We wandered to a couple of spots to capture the lagoons’ blue colours and the Icelandic lava and moss.

Whilst shooting, passers-by wandered around us and we tried not to take notice until one lady recognized me from my YouTube channel and we stopped to chat and take a selfie with her. It was so lovely to meet her, and it gave me a little boost to my confidence too.

So let’s get into the gorgeous pictures Minh took, the location is just stunning but she captured us and bump so well. I am so pleased we did this shoot, especially as I didn't actually take many pictures throughout my pregnancy so these are really special to me.