Falling Out of Love with Architecture (And Finding My Way Back)
/There’s this idea that if you’re passionate enough, you’ll never fall out of love with architecture. That once you’ve chosen this path, you’ll follow it forever with certainty, with pride, with relentless motivation. But what happens when that passion fades? When the dream job isn’t what you imagined, when burnout creeps in, or when the industry doesn’t welcome you in the way you hoped?
In this post, I’m sharing my personal story of falling out of love with architecture not once, but three times and how I found my way back each time.
If you’ve ever questioned your place in this field, felt crushed by unrealistic expectations, or wondered whether it’s okay to take a break or change direction, I hope this gives you permission to pause, reflect, and come back stronger. Because falling out of love with architecture doesn’t mean it’s over. Sometimes, it’s just the beginning of a new, more authentic chapter.
Falling Out of Love (with Architecture)
I’ve fallen out of love with architecture three times.
Maybe more. But three that stand out.
The first was during my year out.
I’d landed a placement in my dream practice, or what I thought was.
A glossy name. The kind of place you whisper to classmates with a little pride.
But inside?
It was all men. All workaholics.
I felt like I had to prove myself before I’d even had the chance to learn.
Under constant watch in an open-plan office.
I went to site and got wolf-whistled at.
I was told not to sit in on client meetings.
And everyone waited for the boss to leave before even packing up.
I remember thinking:
If this is it…do I even want it?
The second time was the end of my postgrad.
I was tired.
My tutors failed me just like that.
A week later, I resubmitted the same project, and suddenly, I passed.
Not just passed, but awarded a scholarship for academic excellence.
It felt like being slapped in the face, punched in the gut, then sprinkled with glitter.
I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or walk away.
And the third?
The recession.
It caught up with me, like it did with so many of us.
The job disappeared.
No safety net.
Just silence and a blank page.
But here’s the thing…
Every time I fell out of love with architecture, I found my way back - but on my terms.
I took the money and booked the flights.
Took the scholarship and finished my studies in Japan.
Took the risk and flew to India to help set up a design school from scratch.
I didn’t go back to architecture as it was.
I went back to what it could be.
What I wanted it to be.
Maybe your story’s different. Maybe it’s quieter. Less dramatic.
Maybe you never left.
But if you’ve ever felt it slipping, that spark, that joy
I just want to say:
It doesn’t mean you’re not meant for this.
Sometimes, we need to fall out of love to find our way back.
Sometimes, we have to build our own version of architecture.
And maybe…just maybe, that’s where the magic starts.
Whether you’re facing burnout, a toxic work environment, or just feeling disconnected from your creative self, this is a reminder that it’s okay to fall out of love, and it’s more than okay to come back on your own terms.
If you’re looking to reconnect with your creativity, redefine your place in the design world, or simply feel less alone in your journey, you’re in the right place.
