Reykjavík City Guide - A Local's City Guide

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If you are planning a trip to Reykjavik, what better than to read a Reykjavik City Guide written by an expat and an Icelandic local? I moved here 4 years ago now and have spent a lot of time wandering the streets, capturing Instagram posts, sketching, and making new friends in the downtown pubs, cafes, and restaurants. Ingimar is a local, having lived in Reykjavik most of his life. So, we combined our faves of the city and created the following Reykjavik City Guide - go on, bookmark this post.

How To Get There

Flying into Iceland, you will probably land at Keflavik Airport which is about 40 minutes from Reykjavik. If you’ve hired a car then head to your pick up but if you are looking for an airport transfer, either buy your ticket onboard Icelandair or at the desks in the arrivals terminal.

If you have any Tax-free shopping to claim on your way out, the desk for this is to the left - in between arrivals and departures. It’s worth noting that most Icelanders head to duty-free for their booze before baggage claim to save some dosh so if you’re planning on enjoying a little drink, join them.

Welcome to Iceland, you just landed on the moon

What To Visit, See, Do…

Parliament Square

A great place to start, or use as a meeting point, is Parliament Square. Yes, that stone building in front of you is the Icelandic parliament, built in 1881 and features a crown in the centre on the roof which was placed there in the time of the Danish rule. You can pretty much just walk right up to the front door. From here, plan your walking tour or enjoy some of the restaurants and bars nearby.

Reykjavik Cathedral

Next to the parliament, on the left in the below picture, is the Reykjavik Cathedral. The Cathedral has a beautiful wooden, dark interior and is often candle-lit. If you get a peek inside then you are lucky, the Cathedral is used for state services only.

Tjörnin Pond

Behind the Parliament is the Tjörnin Pond which freezes over in winter and locals ice skate on it. The city keeps a small section of the pond heated and defrosted for the resident swans and ducks. A walk around the pond shows off some local architecture, often now B&Bs or embassy buildings.

City Hall & its Topographical Map

Pop inside the City Hall for a look at the huge topographical map of Iceland. It will give you a good perspective of the landmass versus population, towns, and cities are painted in orange.

The Blockhead

Outside, where the ducks and swans often gather hoping to be fed, is a sculpture of a Bureaucrat aka ‘blockhead’. The building beside the Bureaucrat is Iðnó, the Culture House, and has a nice little cafe inside if you want a cuppa and a warm-up.

Harpa Concert Hall

This magnificent building stands proud on the coastline and was a survivor of the last recession. It’s a love/hate building but worth a visit. Pop inside to wander around this public building, use the toilets, and free WiFi, and take the lift to the 5th floor to enjoy the views. Inspired by fish scales, the modern glass facade is beautiful and takes on a new life when the sun catches the light and colour in the glass and mirrors. At night the facade displays a light show replicating the dancing Aurora of the Northern Lights.

Solfar/Sun Voyager

Further along the coastline, about a 10-minute walk past Harpa, you will spot the Sun Voyager (Sólfar) sculpture by artist Jón Gunnar Árnason which depicts a Viking ship. In the background is Mt Esjan giving a dramatic backdrop.

Reykjavik Houses

There are still a lot of residential streets in the downtown area of Reykjavik and many of the streets are heated using geothermal wastewater, which is great in the winter and avoids icy pavements. The houses are often painted in different colours and make for a fab Instagram picture or two. I love sketching them, the corrugated iron cladding and little windows are very Scandinavian and charming.

Central Square

A maximum 10-minute walk from anywhere, Central Square is a good place to locate yourself. With skateboarders in the summer and ice skating in the winter, there’s always something going on. See the steam from the extract vents in the picture below, pop your hands in your gloves, and onto these pipes to warm up. From here you can either head to the Old Harbour or Flea Market, up to Hallgrimskirkja church via shops and cafes, or Parliament and Tjörnin Pond.

Rainbow Road

Reykjavik is a small city and only has 2 ‘shopping streets’; Skólavörðustígur & Laugavegur. Both are relatively touristy and most Icelanders head to either Kringlan or Smáralind Shopping Malls. Walking on Skólavörðustígur you will see a rainbow painted on the road. A rainbow was temporarily painted in different locations around the city each year for the annual Pride Parade, and in 2019 the city decided to make this a permanent feature.

Leifur Eiríksson Statue

At the top of Skólavörðustígur and right in front of Hallgrimskirkja you will see a sculpture of the Viking, Leifur Eiríksson, who is said to be the first Icelandic settler (who Icelanders claim is Icelandic and not Norwegian). This statue was a gift from America to commemorate Iceland's 1000th anniversary of Alþingi, the parliament of Iceland.

Hallgrimskirkja

The church sits proudly at the top of Skólavörðustígur and is well worth a walk around before going inside to see the magnificent organ and enjoy its music in a very calm interior. Take the lift to the top for a small price, and enjoy 360 views across the city (on a clear day).

Einar Jónsson Sculpture Garden

Located across from Hallgrimskirkja is the slightly gothic, beautiful Einar Jónsson Sculpture Garden and Museum. Free entry so take 5 and wander around the small collection of sculptures inspired by biblical stories, seasons and nature, and the Icelandic Sagas. This park is even more beautiful if there’s been a fresh snowfall.

Cafe Loki is nearby if you are looking for a snack, they have Icelandic Lamb Soups or try the Rye Bread Ice Cream - and there’s a fabulous mural of the Sagas upstairs on the restaurant’s wall.

Museums/Exhibitions

I’m not one to spend a lot of time in museums or exhibitions when I travel, a gallery maybe but I usually prefer to wander the cityscape. Having lived here in Reykjavik for a few years now, I will be honest, I have only been to a few places and so will recommend those.

Perlan - Wonders Of The World

The Aurora Planetarium is well worth the show, and cost, and the Ice Cave is pretty cool too (cool). Pop up to the cafe on the top floor and enjoy the views across the city from inside, with a lovely warm coffee.

Flyover Reykjavik

I haven’t been yet but I’ve heard only good things - it’s on our list to do, soon.

Árbær Open Air Museum

This museum is on the outskirts of Reykjavik but is worth a visit if you’d like to see what Iceland looked like in years gone by. Wander around old houses and see people dressed in Icelandic National costumes.

Local Pools

One of the best things about Iceland is its geothermal energy and you can enjoy this whilst soaking in a ‘hot pot’ at a local swimming pool. There are loads to choose from but in Reykjavik, we recommend the following. Please note that you will have to shower before going in the pool - it’s only at the Blue Lagoon that this is a little more ‘private’.

read: all about the local pools

  1. Vesturbaejarlaug

    A great authentic experience with locals, a big outdoor pool with hot pots and one large hot pool - bus route 11, 13

  2. Laugardalslaug

    Right next to the national stadium, mix of locals and visitors. The pool is huge and offers lots of hot pots, plus a heated saltwater pool good kid pools, and slides - bus route 12, 14

  3. Sundhollin

    Possibly the most central, large indoor and outdoor pool with hot pots

    *Senior Citizens swim for free

Aurora / Northern Lights

If you are traveling in winter then yes, you might be lucky enough to get to see the magical Aurora dancing in the night sky. But to see the Northern Lights, you need darkness (so the summer months are out), a cloudless sky (if you can see the stars then there’s a chance), and a good forecast (3-4 and upwards is worth a hunt) and a good bit of luck. The best months for getting lucky in spotting the Aurora are September, October, and March, April.

Read: the northern lights in Iceland

Where To Eat

(I’ll do a much longer Reykjavik Guide to Food and Drinks soon)

Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur

The famous hot dog stand at Tryggvagata 1 is where Bill Clinton visited and you can spot his picture inside. It’s worth a visit - even if you’re not all that into hot dogs. This little stand has survived recent modern developments all around it and is a treasure that stays open into the wee small hours. Opt for a hot dog ‘with everything’ for the full experience.

Mathöll Indoor Market

There are a few of these around the city but the easiest might be either Hlemmur or Grandi. The vendors change but the food is good and it’s a great way to please a large group.

ROK

Frakkastígur 26a (opposite Hallgrimskirkja church) is a newly renovated restaurant in a lovely old Reykjavik house, complete with a grass roof. The food is tapas-style Icelandic with a twist, and everything is good - cocktails too.

Brauð & Co.

For a very hipster and typically Icelandic cinnamon bun. They have a few locations around Reykjavik but this one at 16 Frakkastígur is very cool, just look at that mural. What do you see? Northern lights, snow, volcanos, midnight sun, bubbling lava? And, yes, it smells amazing.

Where To Party

When it comes to nightlife, Reykjavik is a relatively small city so don’t get your hopes too high. There are more and more bars popping up downtown and, to be honest, it’s been a while since either the Viking or I were out on the town so we’ll try our best here.

Download the app ‘Appy Hour’ and search out the happy hours to enjoy your bar brawl. We like Kaldi (cosy interior), Íslenski barinn (also good for food), Lebowski Bar (which has a small dance floor at the back), Slippbarinn (good for a chat and a drink), Kol Restaurant (amazing food and great cocktails too)

Kiki is the best nightclub in Reykjavik, in my opinion. It’s a queer bar, as it states on their sign. The music’s good and you don’t get hassled.

Music Festivals are big here so it’s worth checking out Sonar Reykjavik (February), Secret Solstice (June), and Iceland Airwaves (November).

Keep your costs down and buy your booze at the airports duty-free, along with all the Icelanders.

Also, it’s worth saying that the ‘Beer’ in shops and petrol stations is non-alcoholic.

Where To Stay

There are lots of hotels to choose from, from old to new, small to a large chain. We haven’t ever done a staycation but we like the look of the following.

  • CenterHotel Plaza

  • Midgardur by Center Hotels

  • Sand Hotel by Keahotels

  • Fosshotel Reykjavík

  • Rey Apartments

Loft and KEX are two of the most popular hostels in Reykjavik, both have loads going on and are often busy so you will meet other travellers easily. Loft offers Water Colouring which I sometimes go to.

Airbnb is a great option for Iceland and if you are hiring a car then you don’t need to stay downtown or central.

On a Budget?

Iceland is expensive. Be warned.

Book trips ahead, look into discount cards such as CITYCARD and try to cook for yourself instead of eating out. Do not shop at the local mini supermarkets downtown, or if you do please be warned that they are overpriced. Instead, opt for the larger chains such as Bonus (the logo is a big pink pig) or Krona.

Again, if you plan to drink, consider buying your alcohol at the airport duty-free.

Bonus Tips

Street Art

There’s loads of great street art in and around Reykjavik, this is encouraged and often paid for by the city. Some of these murals are stunning and some leave a lot to the imagination. Here are some of the ones you’ll no doubt spot as you walk around the city centre.

Polar Bears on Laugavegur

Whatever you do, whether in the summer or winter, we are sure you’ll have a great trip here in Reykjavik. If you have any questions, please pop them in a comment below or drop us a message. And, don’t forget to get a friendly hug from the Polar Bears standing guard on Laugavegur.

tag us in your trip @sonianicolson

5 Things To Do In Iceland

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Iceland is on many people’s bucket list these days, thank you cheap flights, and it’s well worth a trip but what should you have on your itinerary? Having lived here for 3 years now, here are my top 5 things to do in Iceland.

1. Reykjavik

You don’t come to Iceland to see the capital city but you will probably make a stop here so let’s cover it and then get onto the real stuff.

You can easily walk around the city in the morning and have it covered. Start off at the iconic Hallgrímskirkja church - this is not the Cathedral but it is a beautiful modern building said to be inspired by an erupting geyser, in the heart of the city. For a small fee, you can take the lift to the top and enjoy the 360’ views across the city.

Back down in the streets, wander around to enjoy the local architecture and by this, we mean the cute corrugated iron-clad houses. Pick up a cinnamon bun from Brauð & Co. on Frakkastígur before taking some pictures of the Polar bears on Laugavergar or the Sun Voyager sculpture in the bay. Walk along to Harpa, the concert hall, and enjoy the glass facade which is illuminated at night to replicate the dancing Aurora. Enjoy some lobster soup, fish & chips, or Icelandic lamp downtown or in the old harbor - or just snack on a hot dog from the famous Baejarins Beztu Pylsur stand on Tryggvagata.

There are loads of cafes or kaffi houses around to warm up in, plentiful street art to spot and museums or galleries to take shelter in.

2. Head out of the city

Iceland is all about nature, yeah Reykjavik is a pretty cool city but once you leave the traffic and buildings behind then you discover the real Iceland. The waterfalls, moss and lava, secret pools, glaciers and icebergs, black sand beaches, volcanos, and geysers - there is just so much to see. 

Glacier Lagoon

Jökulsárlón, aka the glacier lagoon on the South Coast, is by far my favorite spot and I still stand in absolute awe at it. Sure, it’s just a lagoon of ice, surrounded by ice, but it is so captivating and serene at the same time. The blue is so blue, the calm is “oh so quiet“ - ok I will stop now but you have to add it to your list if you are doing a road trip.

Thingvellir Techtonic Plates

As you head out of the city to the famous Golden Circle, take some time to wander the paths between the tectonic plates at Thingvellir National Park. This is where the Eurasian and American plates meet, and for the more adventurous travelers, you can scuba dive between them.

The Hot River Hike

Hike to the hot river at Reykjadalur, a fabulous 45-60min hike that gives you stunning views out to the Vestmannaeyjar (the Westman Islands) and there’s a pretty cool waterfall on the way. Take a towel, swim stuff, and a drink to enjoy as you sit in the hot river and think about where you are.

Glacier hike anyone?

It’s pretty awesome that you can book to join a tour and do a hike on one of Europe’s biggest glaciers. I did the hike on Sólheimajökull which was pretty easy and most would be able to enjoy this experience. You get a hard hat and crampons so it’s safe and your guide will lead the way.

Walk in a volcanic landscape

Other than the Blue Lagoon, the area around Keflavik is a pretty special, and often quieter place. Head towards Grindavik and check out Gunnuhver, a geothermal landscape where you can see the stream rising and earth bubbling around you from all the volcanic activity.

3. chase waterfalls

You really can chase waterfalls in Iceland, they are everywhere and they are all unique and beautiful in their own way. Europe’s most powerful waterfall, Dettifoss, is located in the northeast of Iceland but you don’t have to do a huge road trip to see some.

On the South Coast you will first come across Seljalandsfoss and then Skogafoss, the first of which you can actually walk behind. On the Golden Circle, you will visit Gullfoss but there are many lesser-known falls to visit as you drive around.

4. Geothermal pools

The Blue Lagoon is the first pool that comes to mind when talking about Iceland. It is iconic and well worth a visit, it can be very romantic too. As are many things in Iceland it’s pricey so book ahead and splurge for the ticket that includes the masks and a drink from the swim-up bar - it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience so you may as well do it right.

The slightly less famous pool, and therefore slightly quieter (and cheaper) is the Secret Lagoon near Flúðir. It certainly isn’t a secret anymore but it is one of Iceland’s oldest pools and worth a quick dip.

If you’re on the South Coast then you can make a stop off at the ‘hidden’ (from no one these days) Seljavallalaug which is fed by a natural spring and sits nestled in a valley under the infamous Eyjafjallajökull volcano.

Try out the local pools too, way more budget-friendly and fun experience. The largest one is Laugardalslaug, next to the national football stadium, or head to Vesturbæjarlaug where the hipsters hang out and Bjork has been spotted.

Wherever you go in Iceland, you will see some stunning landscapes. Park sensibly, stay off the moss, respect nature and you will have an amazing trip.

5. The Northern Lights

If visiting Iceland in the winter then you probably have the Northern Lights on your bucket list. Yes, they are magical and an incredible sight to see but you need a good forecast, dark cloudless starry sky, and a lot of luck to spot them. Whether you head out on a tour or on your own, head away from light pollution. You don’t need to go too far, just outside the city is great, and simply look up. If Aurora is dancing you will see her.

Personally, I have seen good lights from November to February, and tend to have a little look from our balcony (yup, we are that lucky) at around 11 pm and have gotten lucky. On the forecast, there is a scale and I would say if it reads 3-4 then you have a chance but 4+ is worth going on a drive out of the city. If you are dedicated then head out from 9 pm till 1 am, no later as it’s not worth spoiling the next day for. Good luck.

what were your favourite things in Iceland or what are you looking forward to?

Moving To Reykjavik, Iceland...how it's going

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I met my Viking, Ingimar, the old-school way - in a bar back in Edinburgh. The funny thing is that neither of us lived there at the time so it was a completely random meeting. I believe it was meant to be and the stars aligned for us that night.

Ingimar was on a football trip with his two best friends and had flown over from Iceland for a short trip, travelling from Bristol to Manchester and then Edinburgh before flying home to Reykjavik. I was on a hen night with old school friends (and dressed like an Air Hostess, of course) and had flown up for the weekend to see friends and family.

We had gone to a ceilidh bar in town called the Ghillie Dhu. To cut a long story short, his friend came over and said “My friend thinks you’re cute” and like tipsy girls, we giggled and continued our conversation. Realizing that was a little rude, as he was not Scottish, I decided to go over and speak to them. I sat next to Ingimar and said “You don’t look like you’re from here, where are you from?” and he said Iceland - to which I said “What? Nobody lives there” and, well, look at me now. We connected on Facebook (oh the romance) and then I left with my friends - I had such a reassuring feeling that we would meet again.

Real-Life Online Dating

Thank goodness for WhatsApp, Facebook, and FaceTime.

I remember the first time we did a video call, I was so nervous but the second we saw each other, we just wanted to meet up. It was weird because we didn’t know each other, we had met for such a short time in the bar that night but we felt so close already.

Meeting Up In Person

I was home in Edinburgh, on Christmas break when I got a call from the International Recruitment Team at University. I worked as a Senior Lecturer at the time and often went on international recruitment trips to Asia. I was meant to be going to China to deliver a lecture in January but they had to cancel and needed an academic on a recruitment trip to Iceland.

It was so completely out of the blue, I honestly thought that this was the stars lining up for us. I mean, there was no reason for me to be going to Iceland other than to see Ingimar, and it was a big step to do so. We were at the stage where one of us would have to book a flight and make the first move but neither of us was quite ready to leap. This was fate.

A Little Long Distance

A load of late-night calls turned into searching sky scanner for the cheapest flights, and after a good few visits back and forth we finally approached the question of who would make the big move so we could be together.

At the time I was living and working down on the South Coast of England in Bournemouth. I had a good job as a Senior Lecturer at the University and was getting to visit India frequently with the British Council - but I was burnt out. Ingimar was working for a big games company here in Iceland and had never lived abroad so it would have been a much bigger step for him, plus he was happy in his job. His mother had recently passed away and we left it was too soon to leave his home, friends, and family. All things pointed to me moving and so we started to plan.

Planned To Relocate

Midterm break and I flew over to Iceland and spent the break staying with Ingimar. We did normal things, he went to work and I wandered around, trying to imagine life in Iceland. Moving abroad for me wasn’t as big a deal as many might think. I had lived for a year in Japan doing my MA, and a good few years in India working and wasn’t living in my home city at the time anyway. I had visited several times by now, including for his Mother's funeral where I met the family and his friends. I was ready for a change of pace, and it was time to make the move.

Getting Engaged

Ever the romantic, I told the Viking that I would move under one condition - that we are engaged. Yes, we loved each other and were planning to be together, but I had to be realistic. I was leaving a good job, my friends, and my family, and I wanted a commitment from him. I wanted to know if we were in it for the long haul.

He proposed at Christmas, and I moved over in February.

I Quit My Job

Handing in my notice at work was filled with mixed emotions. I was ready to let go of all the stress, pressure, and admin but I loved my job and working with my students. I didn’t look forward to telling them. I wrote a letter and was ready to hand it to my line manager, and HR. I asked for a meeting with him and straight away, I could tell he knew what was coming. I told him in our office and we went for a coffee to chat about my plans and new life. He was shocked but happy for me.

We planned how we would tell the students. We gathered all 250+ of them in the studio, along with the other academic and admin staff with who I’d worked closely. It was an emotional meeting but I am so happy that so many people came to wish me well and luck. My students threw me a little farewell party too - I think I had 3 leaving dos in total.

I miss the students and lecturing but I don’t miss marking, especially the many many dissertations.

Packed Up My Life for the new chapter

Anyone who’s tried to relocate, especially to a pricey country like Iceland, knows of the challenges. Ingimar found a packing company that shipped to Iceland and we signed the contract for the move. Unfortunately, whilst my boxes were in transit, the company went bust.

After a clear-out and a few trips to the charity shop, I packed up my necessities into my pink suitcase (which has been to both Japan and India with me) and the rest went into the boxes the company had delivered. It took me a weekend to clear my tiny studio apartment - with the help of my lovely Mum - and we checked into a hotel on the seafront for my last night in Bournemouth.

Fly Home To Edinburgh

I flew home to Edinburgh with Mum the next day, armed with my big pink case, and spent a couple of weeks seeing friends and family before the big move. During this time I did all the practical things like visiting the doctors and getting prescriptions, getting my eyes tested, and so on.

I packed my life up, tracked my boxes as they travelled to Iceland, and got myself ready for the next chapter of my life.

Finding Work in Iceland, & Working On Plan B

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a British chartered Architect who survived the recession by heading off to India to help set up a new Design School. Whilst in India I set up layoutlines.com as a place to share my ‘incredible India’ stories and returned to the UK to teach at University and assist in international recruitment. All this time I kept up blogging on Layoutlines and set up an Etsy shop to share my Architectural illustrations, and also to meet other like-minded creatives in my new home.

Moving to Reykjavik was going to be challenging employment-wise as I didn’t speak the language and had little to no connections. Getting to visit Reykjavik with the university recruitment team prior to moving was great and helped with networking a little. I knew the staff at the Art Schools’ illustration department and managed to get some guest lecturing work with them.

I spent months, literally months, applying to so many Architecture and Interior companies here but to no avail. Finally, I managed to speak to someone who told me that I wasn’t successful because I hadn’t been educated or trained in a Scandinavian country. So with that lack of openness, I decided to save my time and focus on my own thing.

working

Teaching and sharing my skills and experience was something I was passionate about and so I started to think of ways to do this on my own, through my website. I planned, wrote, and filmed the Portfolio Course and started to offer in-person tutorials which were great fun. I ran some workshops in our home and was working on growing my social media through YouTube and Instagram.

Aside from this, I have taken on temporary work doing copywriting, Marketing, Website Building and Content Creation for local companies too.

Relocated To Reykjavik - Vlogging

I made a very conscious decision to pick up my camera and film from the moment I landed in Iceland. I hadn’t ever vlogged before but I wanted to record this chapter of my life, and wish I had done the same for India and Japan.

A few years on and it’s lovely having these memories and special moments on film to watch back. My channel has been growing slowly and I love engaging with my viewers in the comments. Sharing my life was easy but now that we have Mia, I’m a little more conscious about what I share. Being a Mum makes me responsible for her and what is shown of her at such a young age. I’m always careful and try not to overshare but I feel it’s also important to share certain things and talk about some issues to help other new Mums.

I make a little income from my channel, mainly through ads so please subscribe. I want to make more informative videos on Iceland and Motherhood on my channel so watch out for these coming soon.

Getting residency in Iceland

The big question and I get how lucky I am that I come from an EU country (pre-Brexit) so it was pretty smooth. Also, moving here to live with my (at the time) fiancé meant that we were classed by the state as living together which in the eyes of the Icelandic TAX department meant the same as being married.

We went to the immigration offices and handed in the paperwork, my passport, and driver’s license along with proof of no other marriage. I needed to email them proof I wasn’t married (a nearly impossible thing to prove really) but I did this by emailing the Births, Marriages, and Deaths record office in Scotland who replied saying they had no record of any marriage and I simply forwarded this to them.

A few weeks later I had my residency status.

My Boxes, Lost & Found

The company which was shipping my boxes had gone under, literally days after picking up all of my belongings. I had the tracking number so could get on the shipping website and try to track where they were. As they were in transit, we knew they wouldn’t be returned to the UK but we had no idea where they’d go and when they’d turn up. Fingers crossed and praying to the shipping gods.

After a stressful few weeks trying to track where my boxes had gone, Ingimar got a call on his mobile from a delivery driver down at Customs who said my boxes were there. This was totally out of the blue, and he wanted to deliver that morning. We were both out. Ingimar had only just gone the work when he had to turn around and head home to help lift them upstairs and into the spare room.

My stuff and I were finally home.

Phew, Settling Into life in Reykjavik

Oddly, the vlogs helped me settle in. I could carry my camera around and talk to it, talk to whoever was watching, and sometimes express my self/emotions/culture shock.

I had a hard time in the beginning and felt very lonely. Iceland can be a very isolating place, the weather and dark winter don’t help. Ingimar was out at work, I was not getting any success with jobs and we hardly saw anyone. In the UK, we often just pop around to family but it isn’t the same here and I missed that. Even though I didn’t live in Edinburgh before coming here to Reykjavik, I didn’t get why it wasn’t the same here. I missed my friends and I missed being surrounded by students.

Weather in Iceland

I arrived in February, and in hindsight, that might not have been the best time. Snow, windy days and nights, lack of sunlight, and general wintery days meant for a slow, almost hibernating Sonia. This was good as it meant I took things slowly, I couldn’t fight a ‘winter mode’ so just went with it. I took slow snowy walks, got used to the darkness with candles and fairy lights, and enjoyed warming up in the local hot pools. Spring would eventually come and I could start to come to life again in my new home.

learning the Icelandic Language

There was a language course starting at Ingimar’s work and so he signed me up. It was the beginners class in Icelandic, which I have now completed twice. I speak a little Icelandic but I understand a fair bit. It’s a hard language and one which is a challenge to pronounce.

I can, however, say Eyjafjallajökull pretty accurately. That’s good enough, for now.

Icelandic Food

Iceland isn’t known for its cuisine, and I’d agree with that. I have tried my fair share of fermented foods and liquorice, I’m a fan of either. There are some seriously unusual foods here in Iceland, the festival of Þorrablót is all about eating fermented food and washing it down with Brennivín and my Viking eats dried fish as a ‘treat’.

But Iceland is an island after all, and a volcanic one at that, so food can be pretty pricey, especially eating out. Items grown here in Iceland tend to cost more than items shipped in because they are expensive to manufacture. Icelandic prices take a bit of getting used to but as a rule of thumb, double the price you’d pay for an item at ‘home’ then you might not feel quite as bad paying the Icelandic price.

We usually do our food shopping at either Bonus or Kronan. Grocery stores here are smaller than in the UK, with a lot fewer opinions and often you have to go to a few different stores, like Hagkaup, to find a specific ingredient.

I do love Icelandic Skyr, the Viking would hate me saying this as it’s a type of cheese but it’s like thick, creamy yoghurt. I don’t mind a hot dog or a hamburger with all the toppings and sauces, and whatever else they put on, and the Icelandic lamb is just delicious (sorry vegetarians). Icelanders are also massive fans of ice cream and can be seen queuing up, even in the cold dark winter months.

Making Friends in Iceland

I’ve tried a few ways to make local friends here in Reykjavik, and some have been more successful than others. Of course, being the wife of a Viking means you have access to his friends and their wives, but getting your group of friends is important.

In India, I went to Zumba three times a week and made friends in the class, and with the instructors too, so naturally I signed up for Zumba classes here. The class was full of fit, attractive girls, hogging the mirror, taking selfies on Snapchat, and looking so pulled together that they were ready for a club, not the gym. This wasn’t for me and these people weren’t my tribe.

I went on Facebook and searched for social groups in Reykjavik and found GGI (Girls Gone International) which has a monthly meet-up. I headed nervously to the cafe and met the girls. The chat was very pleasant, we exchanged our ‘moving to Iceland’ stories, but it wasn’t until after that a couple of the girls stayed behind and we chatted about life here, and what we missed or wanted to do. I had found my friends, my partying, and my creative gang.

Sometime later, pregnant me needed a mum group (aka the buggy gang) which is made up of wives or colleagues from Ingimar work, a friend from my aquafit class and other Mum-friends who happened to know one of us. These girls have kept me sane over the last year and a half.

Making Money self-employed

This is a serious topic and I will start by saying that I prepared for the move and had savings to help me survive a good few months whilst I either found work or created it for myself. I make most of my money online through my website and social media content.

I run this site, its online shop, online courses and workshops, and my YouTube Channel, and I’m a wife and Mum. It’s a huge juggling act and often a lot more work than I anticipated, but I love it and love that I’m building my business, my empire, and working for myself.

Planning Our Lives Together

I guess like many; we met, got engaged, (moved country) planned and got married, fell pregnant, and became a family. That makes it sound easy. Meeting and moving here was pretty easy and felt right. It was meant to be and I trusted in the stars - I think I got this thinking from my time living in India. Getting married was wonderful and I loved bringing our cultures and families together and then returning to Iceland to start our own wee family.

Work and bringing in money has been the biggest challenge. Moving to Iceland is hard, Iceland is expensive and the general living costs are high. Saying that salaries are high, but it depends on the work you can get. I came here with the promise of academic work - that fell through. I’m a chartered Architect with good experience - but no one here wants a non-Scandinavian designer. I have years of experience lecturing in the UK and abroad - again, no one is interested.

and, well, You Know The Rest…

It’s been tough but it’s been worth it so far. Iceland is a beautiful country, a safe country, and one where I feel very lucky to live. It has its pros and cons, it can be pretty isolating and the whistling wind drives me mad but for now, this is home.

Working From Home Guide

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Working From Home Guide 2020

It’s a crazy time right now and, as we all settle into working from home for the foreseeable future, I thought I’d share a Working From Home Guide. Here are my top tips for working from home and how to make the most of your space to create a ‘home office’. 

Working from home seems like the dream to many and, though it does come with many more pros than cons, it can be filled with distractions and motivation zappers. After all, your bed is warm and cozy, and your sofa is comfortable and only a few steps away…and you’ve almost finished binge-watching [insert series]. 

Get The Right Desk

Ok, so back in your office you might have one of those adjustable desks so you can stand more but in reality, at home, you’ll probably just sit. Try to use a good chair and be aware of your posture, the right chair for your new ' workstation is so important. Think of your back and look after it. If you can order a new one then do that but it might not be an option right now. If you plan to have a home office then it’s worth investing in a good setup. If you have the budget for it then look into an adjustable desk and make sure it’s one that can be raised and lowered easily so there’s more chance you will actually adjust it. Look at where and how you work - do you actually work at your desk, where it currently is? If not then rethink the space, turn things around and face a different direction. Get your set upright and you will be more productive.

Avoid All The At-Home Distractions

That super comfy sofa, Netflix, a full fridge, kids, argh. Try to be strict with yourself and treat your work/office like you would if you were going out to work. I try to start my day by 9-9:30 am and finish by 4-5 pm. I have my breakfast before I get to my desk and keep a lunch hour where I try to take a walk, move my body and enjoy some fresh air. I start dinner prep at 5 pm but if I’m still finishing tasks then I will keep working until 6 pm. Sometimes I work in the evening, depending on my workload and deadlines but I try to keep weekends work-free, where possible. Working from home becomes a habit, and if you get good at it then it can be hard to walk away from. Be strict but fair with yourself.

Sit Near The Window

Expose yourself to as much natural light as possible as this will help you focus, concentrate and can promote a happier mood - plus you’ll have access to fresh air. Natural light is better for photography so grab those Instagram shots. If you don’t have large windows or live in a country with long dark winters, like here in Iceland, invest in a daylight light - this can also help with waking up in the mornings.

Avoid getting hit by Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) a form of depression related to the change in season. Don’t brush this off as the winter blues it can get serious. Symptoms usually start showing around autumn/fall and continue throughout winter. It can zap your energy, mood, and motivation. Make sure to move your body, go for a walk and get some fresh air, be social (if you can). Fuel yourself, eat well and go easy on yourself - often we can be our own worst critics.

Become A Plant Lover

Don’t sigh, it’s not just a trendy interiors thing but plants are both pretty and practical - they clean the air helping with co2 levels so what’s not to like. I’m a sucker for succulents, and house plants like ivy and spider plants which are easy to look after (seemingly). My love pottering with my plants and looking after them - yup, I’m a plant lady.

Get An Essential Oil Defuser

This is the one we love, add a few drops of lavender oil to the water and it will relax you. I did this in our bedroom whilst I was breastfeeding Mia and have continued to have it on in the room as I get ready for bed or whilst I enjoy some me-time. A defuser is a great gadget to have at home and you can add different oils to help with your mood.

Surround Yourself With Pictures

These can be of your family, friends, happy times, inspirational quotes, pretty artwork, etc. Post-it notes might not look cool but they’re useful and can be great for covering your screen with ideas, notes, to-do items, and so on. I use them when planning my online courses to help structure lessons as I can easily move topics around and stand back from the course to really see the overview.

I’m a list-lover, lists on my phone and in my bullet journal (what did we do before bullet journals, have random lists everywhere?!).

Pinboards are back and make great physical mood boards, brand, or vision boards so why not try this to help keep you visually stimulated and on-brand. I am currently making a vision board which I’ve never done before. Try making one by looking through magazines and cutting out anything that “sparkes joy” as Marie Condo would say. Write words or quotes relevant to you, print images, add text, textures, and materials, flowers, or whatever works for you. Keep it somewhere you will see it every day as a reminder of what you want in your life.

Music

I use Spotify on our Sonos to play playlists or just listen to the radio. I’m pretty bad with music and would honestly listen to whatever - I’ve been known to listen to the same CD in my car for months without bothering to change it. Having playlists set up where I can easily stick them on in the background is good for me. I like chill, coffeehouse kind of playlists.

Dress For Work

This helps with the point above and will help you take working from home more seriously until you find your flow. I recommend you dress comfortably but not too comfy or you’ll just lounge around the house. Working from home comes with the big advantage of being in PJs but I find I work more productively if I actually get up and dressed, ready for the day. This might mean hair brushed and makeup - some mascara and lippy - to feel a bit more put together.

READ: My Self Employed Uniform

Work Outside The Box (when you can)

Not that your home is a ‘box’ but I really recommend trying this. Change up where you work once a week by heading to your local library, a coffee shop (though coffees can really add up), try a friends place (also great for collaborating and bouncing ideas around), an open office space (check Facebook to see if there’s a place like this in your area) or if your budget allows, rent a desk in a shared office space (great for networking and collaborations). I do have what I call a ‘soft office aka my bed where I often edit photographs, plan my Instagram feed, and download clips for my YouTube videos. Road trips are a great place for thinking, I love to dream up new projects and discuss them with Ingimar. My favorite place for planning and daydreaming is in a hot tub (lucky me, I know). Escape from behind your laptop - get some space and distance for good perspective. 

The True Gem Of Working At-Home

…that you can have your office assistant/motivator with you, aka baby Mia (can also be your pet).

Becoming a Mum has motivated me on an entirely different level, something I didn’t expect. Though my time, energy, and focus are so precious now, and my brain is still a bit baby brain blurry, I have a bigger reason, purpose, and even more, drive to succeed.

I feel like I’m creating my legacy, I’m building my dreams not just for me but for Mia and our family. Mum guilt plays a huge role in my day and I often feel like I can’t win. If I’m working, I should be playing with her and if I’m playing with her, I should be working. It’s hard but I want her to be proud of her Mummy, to see me working, and to know why it’s important.

She is 21months old now and that time has flown by. She has taught me that time is precious and you can’t get it back - every minute away from her has to count. Time is a precise commodity. I have to work smarter, not harder - now more than ever.

I used to work as an Architect, in a very stressful and highly male-dominated, competitive environment. It was a classic case of the last one in the office meant you were the hardest worker. It’s nonsense. Busy doesn’t mean successful. The hardest worker doesn’t make them the best. The self-employed Mum-life is far busier and I probably get more done now. I don’t want to work a 10, 12hour day building someone else’s dreams when I can work on my own dreams.

Be Proud Of Your Accomplishments

Working from home takes a bit to get used to so don’t be too hard on yourself. You have to manage your time, juggling things, be your own boss and possibly look after the kids too. Celebrate the wins, even if they are small. Keep track of them in your journal, stats, income, clients, projects, and look back on the last 30 days.

I did this recently with my Etsy shop and compared it to last year and was so surprised at our growth. I now keep track of all my social media accounts and following. It puts less pressure on to see the slow and steady growth other than just looking at the actual numbers. It makes it easier to be more realistic about growth and targets and on yourself.

Learn to look back often on what you are building, and have already accomplished and celebrated it. 

this post was originally written in 2020 and has been updated

Back To Work After Maternity Leave

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Back To Work After Maternity Leave

Here I am, the ‘hipster’ with their MacBook in a coffee shop but little do people know that I'm actually a semi-sleep-deprived Mum who’s baby (or rather a toddler) has just been dropped off at daycare for the first time - yup, I’ve never left with her with anyone apart from family members, and I think she was being a lot braver than me. 

Ironically, I’m sat opposite a table of 10 Mums and their newborns, maybe that is the gods of daycare settling my soul and calming me. It’s not making me miss Mia but instead, their little cries and the shaking of a rattle is reassuring. 

watch the video

Day Care in Iceland: Dagmama

This is the first week of daycare, or rather of the Dagmama (meaning Day Mama in Icelandic). It is a popular system here where one Dagmama takes care of up to 5 babies, usually in their home, and up until the child gets a place at Kindergarten (at around 18+ months). Mia is 14 months now (how did that happen) and we just got this sought-after space over the summer, so this is the first week back - a kind of trial week for all involved, as it were. 

On Monday I went with her for an hour. On Tuesday I took her, dropped her off, and went back 1.5hrs later (we both survived). Today was Dad’s turn, so he has just dropped her off and she will stay for a few hours to play and hopefully a nap too. If everything goes well for the rest of the week then she can go for a full day next week (and then I really do have to be brave). 

Sleeping Babies In Iceland

The nap thing is a little bit of a nervous issue for me as here in Iceland babies sleep in their buggy outside, in all weathers. This is something Mia has never done and to add to the challenge, she will nap in a new-second hand buggy we got purely for this reason. 

I’m absolutely sure she will be fine, she gets so exhausted by all the stimulation of toys and 4 other babies to play with but I’m Mum and so I worry. 

Preparing To Go Back To Work

We all know we have to face reality at some point, and although I work for myself and never really took maternity leave as such, I’m treating it as though I’m returning to work all the same. 

To help me stay on track, motivated and inspired, I have been keeping an Evernote document going with a huge list of ideas and things I want to do with my business. Everything from blog to vlog, new online courses, building up my email list, products, promotions, and more. I’m so excited to get stuck into it but I know Mum-guilt will kick in and I will have to deal. 

Mum-Guilt

It’s a funny thing. You feel guilty for being with your baby and not working, earning, and contributing enough. But then if you go and do some work - or anything away from your baby - you feel like a bad Mum = Mum-guilt. Basically, you can’t win. 

I remember when Mia was about 3 months old and taking a nap in her crib, right in front of me, I decided to get some work done. I wanted to do something relaxing but productive so I grabbed some canvases and painted a Blue Lagoon scene. She was asleep the entire time, and right in front of me so she absolutely didn’t need me or my full attention BUT I felt so damn guilty for doing something other than Mum / Mia stuff. How crazy is that? It makes no sense until you are there until you are a Mum and your mind is messing with you. 

A Pause Before Returning To Work

A few weeks ago, Ingimar said that when Mia starts at the Dagmama, that he wanted me to take 2 weeks off before getting stuck back into work. He knows how much of a workaholic I can be so he asked me to take some time to pause, to just be me; a buffer between Mum-me and working-me. 

To be honest, I struggled with this idea. It seems like a luxury I don’t deserve, selfish. 2 weeks of getting nothing done, what a waste I thought. But if I really committed to the idea of having a buffer between Mum and Work, then it wouldn’t be 2 weeks of getting anything done and it could be really good for the soul. 2 weeks of reconnecting and finding myself (that sounds a bit airy-fairy, I know) and finding my flow again. 

I actually think he’s onto something, but let’s not tell him that. 

What Even Is Me-Time?

As a new Mum, you hear this a lot. “Take some me-time…time for you…look after yourself too”. When I heard this I thought how? or when? But it’s important and can be so simple, we just can’t do it when we are so sleep exhausted and working with baby brain. 

To be real, it might look a lot different from your pre-pregnancy me-time but you can still escape a little and feel ok about it. Here are some easy-ish ideas to try:

COOK

When the baby is down for a nap, close yourself off in the kitchen and make some good old soul food. Get the slow cooker on or make a big pan of soup.

SPA

…and I don’t mean go to one. Get someone to look after the baby and lock yourself in the bathroom. Either run a bath or take a shower. Get out all those products you have been saving for good and use them now. Pamper yourself cos you deserve it now more than ever. Have a good cry if it helps get some of these emotions / hormonal craziness out - I sure did this and it helped loads

SLEEP

The saying “sleep when the baby sleeps” annoyed the heck out of me for a while. I did it in the beginning and it was great but after about 3 months, Mia’s naps got shorter and unpredictable and I just wanted to use that time (however long) to clean or get a load of washing done or just have some breakfast. But honestly, wherever possible - sleep when they sleep, even if it means you nap with them in your bed - you are both resting and that time is so precious.

ASK FOR HELP

I literally never did this cos I am an idiot. There, I said it. It took me until I had my operation until I asked my friend Brittany to come over and play with Mia or to just sit with me and keep me company. It takes a village and unfortunately our village here in Iceland is pretty small but my lovely family in Scotland helps when and where they can, and I love them for it.

DON’T DO IT ALONE

when you are able to and feel ok about it, leave the house. Motherhood can be very lonely and it doesn’t have to be. Visit a friend or relative, meet up with the other Mums from any prenatal groups you went to, go out for a walk with them (we formed a ‘buggy gang’ and kept each other sane), and try to go to local playgroups. It might be scary and often feels very unnatural as you’ll be making friends with girls who you maybe wouldn’t normally be friends with (and you might only talk about your babies) but it can be great company and stimulation for baby.

Finding Me Again

Mia is happily playing with her new little gang at daycare, I need to focus back on myself. She still needs me, yes, but I need to find myself again and start to focus back on my business, my goals, and my income. 

Income & My Goals

I said it, income, money. Argh. As a working Mum, this can be a very daunting area as I feel pressure to bring in money but I have Mum-guilt, and I definitely don’t have as much focus or energy as before. 

I want to be honest with you and help where I can, especially if you are also a working Mum. I have to say that Mia is now my main motivation. I can remember sitting on the sofa, breastfeeding her one day, and making a promise to her that I would work hard and work intentionally to help build the life she, and we, deserve. 

Having her in my life is a huge responsibility but it is also a huge motivator. I want to do well, I want her to see me working and achieving my goals. I want her to look up to me, and I want her to be proud of her Mama. 

I juggle a lot and so going back to work isn’t as smooth as returning to the office. Here are some of the things which make up my ‘job’: 

  1. Layoutlines.com

  2. Blog

  3. YouTube

  4. Online Courses

  5. Creative Workshops

  6. Instagram & Collaborations

  7. Shop / Wholesale / Commissions

My Buffer Time

Here we go, I’m nervously entering into my ‘buffer time’ as suggested by the viking. I will of course still be adding all my ideas to that list in Evernote but I am trying not to work too much and ease my way back into things. Here are the things I want to do in the next 2 weeks:

  • Rejoin the gym and try some classes

  • Swim and sit in hot pools

  • Go to the cinema

  • Bake

  • Cook

  • Deep clean the apartment, I’m wild, I know

  • Declutter as much as possible, I’m no minimalist - more like minimal-ish

  • Catch up with friends I haven’t seen in ages

  • Meet some new contacts I’ve made here in Reykjavik

  • Book flights for upcoming weddings

Are you on maternity/paternity leave, returning to work?

Our Birth Plan

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Our Birth Plan

You might be reading this post as you research Birth Plans and contemplate what’s ahead, or you might just be interested in our journey and how we approached it.

To be completely honest, at no point did I expect to have a plan that we would follow - let’s be real, nothing in my life has really been like that so why change it now. I’m much more of a list maker. I make list for lists and so naturally I approached the concept of a Birth Plan as more of a list of suggestions and ideas for labour and delivery. I think this is more realistic and really worked for us.

So whether you have a Birth Plan or a list of ideas, here’s what we had on our list - just typed up on my phone (and printed for the hospital bag).

personal points

Language barriers | As I would be giving birth here in Iceland (I don’t speak enough Icelandic to labour in it) my main concern was that everything would be said in Icelandic and so I wouldn’t be able to completely follow what was happening, and that could potentially get stressful. Without sounding rude and obnoxious, my ideal solution was for medical staff to speak English to me, where possible, but confirm any important changes or information in Icelandic with Ingimar to avoid any mistranslation. All staff spoke English and this wasn’t an issue at all. 

Prenatal meetings | We felt pretty organised (well, as much as we could be for our first child) and had attended a ‘Birth in Iceland’ seminar at Bjorkin - which I highly recommend if you live in Iceland. I wanted to do this course mainly to set my mind at ease and make sure we knew what to expect.

Labouring, from home to hospital | We used the Pregnancy+ App to help us keep track and count contractions. I wanted to labour at home for as long as I could, as recommended by our midwife. At this time Ingimar was to call the hospital and let them know my labour had started and to request a room with a birthing pool. When we were ready, we would head to the hospital, that way they would be expecting us as we had pre-registered.

Midwives names | It was important to me that we learned the midwives names straight away, especially as some Icelandic names can be difficult for me.

What to avoid | The last thing I wanted for the actual delivery was a room full of people. I discussed this with Ingimar a few weeks prior so he knew I wanted (ideally) just myself, Ingimar and the midwife delivering baby unless otherwise advised.

Birth Plan

EARLY LABOR

Massage | key to comfort and distraction. I found that gentle hand massage on my lower back was good at the start but I think it just annoyed me as labour progressed - I probably got annoying too so I don’t think it lasted long.

Move around | help labour progress naturally. This was something that made absolute sense to me and I wanted to do it as soon as my waters broke to get the labour going and progress faster BUT when my waters broke, I got back into bed where I laboured for a couple of hours before I actually got up again. Once I was in the hospital however, I paced the floor, back and forth, for hours and hours which I believe really helped me and my body to progress and cope.

Assist standing & squatting | I didn’t do much in early labour other than sitting on the toilet for a while as my waters slowly broke. In labour, Ingimar was really good at this. He helped me move around, stretch my back out, take the weight as I needed and suggest different positions to try for comfort and progression.

No Dad jokes, please | This was an early agreed rule with Ingimar - king of the bad Dad jokes. I rarely find them all that funny so I knew I didn’t want to hear them in labour. Pick a different time and place, or just save them for a few weeks later, please.

Dim lights | My water broke early morning and I went into labour on midsummers day (21st June) which, here in Iceland, meant 22hours of daylight so dimming the lights wasn’t really something anyone thought of. When we got into the delivery room I saw that there was a building site opposite so I closed the curtains but it was an overcast day anyway. The room was nice but it wasn’t a cosy atmosphere, it was very sterile. In hindsight, I don’t think this would have been something that had helped me much, I was very much in my own head and had my eyes closed for a lot of labour.

Smells, oils & spray | I had them all packed in my hospital bag - that sat on a chair, unopened, in the corner of the room. I was definitely one of those first time Mums that overpacked and didn’t use anything from my hospital bag.

Music | I meant to make a birth playlist of music from our wedding and stuff but I never got round to it. We brought a mini travel speaker, it wasn’t used. We didn’t listen to anything the entire time we were at the hospital.

“Breathe the baby down” | relax as much as your body will let you. In between each contraction, try to talk and even smile. Relax your jaw. Breathe. Open your hands so that you aren’t holding onto any tension. No fits. Relax the lower part of your body, this will help relax your cervix.

I used this method of breathing, it really worked for me in my natural labour Breath colours.

Don’t fight contractions | relax into them. Breathe and let your body do what it knows to do.

Walk, count steps, distract mind | Being active is a great way to help progress labour. A gentle walk or climbing the stairs can do wonders - I know, it might be the last thing you want to do but it can really help. It works as a great distraction for the mind, count steps and focus on that.

‘happy place’ | some people think up a happy place in their heads and go there when they are in labour, some think about places they have been or even have heard about. My mind took me back to a trip I’d taken with my sister to Bath a few years back - I haven’t thought about it for a while so it was completely random but I am very close to my sister and she also has a baby so I think I was already thinking about her. Focus the mind on this place but in detail. Really distract your mind. You don’t need to say anything out loud, it can be stronger just kept in your head. A happy place will help encourage oxytocin, the happy hormone, and that helps progress labour.

Each contraction is a step closer to baby | it’s true, whether you feel like it or not, baby is on their way - you got this.

Stamp out adrenaline | this didn’t happen to me but maybe that’s because I was walking for most of my labour. If you feel adrenaline coming on then stamp it out, it can act as the opposite of oxytocin and actually slow things down.

Bring on the Oxytocin | this is the happy hormone that will help labour progress and so it is important to relax and try to increase this hormone by feeling good - smile, listen to your favourite music, retell happy stories, talk about baby and how excited you are for this new family life, etc. Be excited about baby coming.

Hot/cold compress | have both packed and ready. A cold gel compress is handy in the fridge and is great for helping with post-birth recovery and when your milk comes in. Grab a hot water bottle and cover too, this can be good for the start of labour (often it feels like period pains and so this can be comforting) and you might want to use a hot water bottle wrapped in something to ease discomfort for when your milk comes in too.

Massage balls | pack some tennis balls in the hospital bag. They might stay in there but you might fancy having them rolled in a circular motion on your lower back.

Sit on the loo | possibly the most natural position to labour in and sadly not one we often end up in. Squatting is a great position and one your partner can help with. Sitting on the loo supports you but you might be a little embarrassed to try it in front of your partner and midwife - trust me though, you won’t feel embarrassed about much after the birth.

Chant | This isn’t for everyone, and I’m not one for chanting but in my second trimester I went to prenatal yoga and the meditating chant was quite relaxing (well, compared to trying to do yoga with a bump). I didn’t continue it but instead swapped for prenatal aquafit which I loved, but the chant often came into my head and was quite relaxing and meditative. Ingimar claims to be Buddhist, definitely not practising but he goes to meditation meetings and often chants. He would, on occasion, ask if he could chant “Om na mor, guru dev na mor” to bump but we didn’t do any of this in labour. He might have, I honestly wouldn’t have known.

TRANSITION

Move around, try different positions | I watched lots of videos on positions for labour on YouTube, and then picked one for Ingimar to watch with me so he had seen some of the positions and could hopefully remember and make suggestions on things to try. We didn’t really do any other than standing with my arms around him to help take some of the weight off me.

Use the exercise ball (or peanut ball to keep hips open) | This was brought to me in labour and I tried it once before pretty much kicking it across the room - it felt like the bounce has moved baby back up the birth canal and so I certainly didn’t want that. I didn’t use it again and didn’t need the peanut ball. I hardly used mine throughout pregnancy, I sat on it a few times when I had Braxton Hicks contractions.

Gas & Air, Epidural if needed (not straight away) | I got my wish but thinking back, I’m not sure how I managed on just Gas and Air. I think it all comes down to being a first time Mum and not knowing what the heck you are in for and how much you can take / how bad it’s going to actually get. The pure magic of hormones and time means I don’t actually remember how bad it got but I know there was only one stage where I asked what other pain management they could offer and that was when I was 10cm - it was too late. I’m happy and proud of myself, and my body, that I managed on just Gas and Air. I feel it was best for baby and that was important for me.

SECOND STAGE: DELIVERY

No episiotomy (unless absolutely necessary) | it obviously was and I had clearly had a valid worry about having one. At that moment, I didn’t feel anything, I just wanted baby out and safe so of course, I didn’t question it. The cut was made and baby was delivered. After birth and the afterbirth, I was stitched back up which took almost 2 hours and a number of people. This worried me a little but I didn’t know if that was normal. It was not pleasant at all. I felt some of the stitches and was concerned about how many people were involved in it. I don’t want to worry or scare you, it was the best thing for Mia and of course, I’d do it again for her safe delivery, but those first few hours with her on me weren’t the magical experience I had hoped for.

Natural placenta delivery (preferred) | This is all a blur now but I semi recall the midwife telling me that I should push on the next contraction and the placenta would be delivered. It was very straightforward and easy in comparison. I asked them to check if the placenta was intact and they showed me it, I was kind of grossed out.

Umbilical Cord | It was important to us that the umbilical cord be left uncut until it had stopped pulsating so Mia could get all of the nutrients from it before Dad cut the cord. It’s not really a magical moment like in the movies or something, it’s all kind of a blur - Dad is told to cut, you are holding your newborn and about to be stitched back up.

Skin to skin | the ah moment every Mum imagines as the end goal - right after all that pushing, breathing, panting, contracting and pure butt-kicking that labour and delivery is. I really wanted to have skin to skin straight away, uninterrupted, pure baby bliss. Those first few moments with baby after delivery are so important for bonding but also for all the hormones, the babies latch and so on. It was lovely and we did get our kind of uninterrupted skin to skin but they also started on my stitches so I was in pain and worried about my recovery. I guess having her on me helped me deal with that but I worried for a long time if she could feel my pain and discomfort.

Dad got skin to skin with Mia once I was all sorted and he also slept with her on his chest for the first night.

Don’t take the baby away | Clearly, I’ve watched too many movies but I wanted to make sure that if Mia was to be taken somewhere for any reason, that Ingimar would be there with her. Not for fear of the wrong baby being brought back but more that I didn’t want Mia to be alone.

Breastfeeding | I hoped we would be lucky enough to get to breastfeed and that Mia would latch on. In Iceland, it is very much encouraged to have your baby to latch on right away. I always planned to try breastfeeding and am so happy it worked out for us but I don’t think I was ever asked if I wanted to breastfeed, I was just told to try it. As a first time mum, I don’t know if this is the norm everywhere but I think it’s great. It helped baby, it helped me and it made everything so much more real. Mia knew what to do straight away and it felt so natural having her on the boob.

Photographs | remember to take some. I had looked up newborn, delivery photography and had all these ideas in my head of the kind of pictures I wanted to take BUT in reality, I certainly didn’t feel like having my picture taken as I lay there all stitched up and very uncomfortable. My baby was and is beautiful, the first few moments were very raw and real, we did take some pictures and I’m glad we did but the pictures I love were taken that first night or upon leaving the hospital.

I’m glad I captured a little bit of the start of labour and then when we were on the recovery ward for the vlog but I honestly don’t know how people vlog their birth experience - we never planned to and I’m glad I didn’t have to worry about that and could just be fully present in it all.

Dad with newborn baby

*notes For Dads/birthing partners

Be patient | I can’t imagine what it’s like for the Dad or birthing partner. First off you can’t really do all that much to help, you have to watch your loved one in pain, you have to wait patiently for hours and then boom, out pops a baby and you’re instantly a parent. For us, we have had 9+ months getting used to the idea of a baby and being a Mum. We are trying to be in control of our labor and ourselves. We might say something we regret, we might tell you we can’t do it, we might throw the Birth Plan out the window in the first stage of labor. Stay strong, listen to your partner, remind them of their birth wishes. Do not, at any point, say you’re tired or have a headache or something equally stupid. Keep your perspective.

Tell us if you’re leaving the room | I knew I would be in the zone and so I wanted to know I could call on Ingimar at any point and he’d be right there unless he had said so. He was amazing about this and only left my side to run downstairs and grab some food after asking me if I was absolutely sure - he must have demolished the food as he was back at my side only a few contractions later. I was more nervous about this before labor than in it.

How to help | Massage is one of the best things you can do in the early stages of labor. Get some tennis balls and roll them in circles on the lower part of our back or wherever is best. Aside from that, help change positions and remind us of different positions for comfort and to help baby progress. Offer the birthing ball or whatever is available. Be polite and friendly with staff, but direct when and if needed.

Offer us stuff | Offer sips of water, keep us hydrated, especially if on Gas and Air. It might sound rude but we are probably in the zone and so only know what we want that very second. Yes, we need you to be mind readers. To be super helpful, try different things (anything you think might help) and keep trying them until you feel is right - i.e, don’t just ask if we want a drink of water but instead hold a cup of water with a straw in it out to us and we will either take a sip or not. We might say no or shake our head, or even ignore you - remember we are in labor so don’t take it personally.

The hospital bag | Know what’s in the hospital bag and use some of it to help out. Offer lip balm - hand it to us open and ready to use. If we say no, that’s ok, keep thinking of things we might need or want every now and then. To be honest, we aren’t thinking of anything but getting from one contraction to the next.

Hold sick bag | what a lovely job you do get. Holding sick bags, helping us on and off the toilet, or in and out the birthing pool. But we need you and we sure appreciate your strength as we wrap our arms around you and bear down on your shoulders as another contraction hits.

Don’t take frustration/irritability personally | This is real. The transition phase is when some woman gets really irritated or frustrated and - in the movies - is when they scream that they’re never having kids again or something. Be aware of this stage in labor, it’s short and is usually right before your bundle of joy appears but it’s a tough one. At this point, I was pushing and groaning as I gave it everything I had so Ingimar said to me that he would groan and loudly moan with me, and he did. Be supportive.

Install car seat | make sure it is in place and you know how to use it. If you don’t have it in place, the midwives won’t let you take the baby home.

what’s on your birth plan list?