Balancing Business and Motherhood

You might have noticed my content is moving a little more towards architecture, drawing, and, in general, entrepreneurship. 

Life is and should be, after all, about natural growth and constant evolution. 

First off, let’s just say balance doesn’t exist the way we imagine it to. Work and family aren’t equal. The scales tip in either direction at different times of the day, week, month, or year. So that notion of fair, or equal is nonexistent. 

As a Mum

You are in the trenches of it all. All the noise, all the mess, all the milestones, all the joy, all of it almost all the time. 

Then they go to school and you miss it ALL. 

As an Architect

You live and breathe architecture. You know when someone’s an architect, you can spot them a mile away. They’re the odd one, wearing black, probably with funky glasses, and touching (or knocking on) all surfaces of a built structure. 

I have a sketchbook in the nappy bag and I have nappies in my Kate Spade laptop bag. 

But the two worlds don’t (don’t) easily blend. 

You’ve heard it before.

The identity of a woman changes when she becomes a Mum

It’s hard to explain - this might resonate with you or you might disagree. This didn’t happen to me until my kids went to nursery. So I kinda felt left out of this feeling until then. Until I realized these little monkeys had been my 24/7 for 2+ years each and I didn’t know how to go back to ‘normal life’ now they were off with their wee gangs at Leikskoli. 

…Did I want to? 

Oh my. That’s a scary thought. 

Designing out the next chapter

So I’m doing what I do best. I am designing. But I’m designing my life, my 9-3:30…until I can pick them up again, and yes, early because I am that helicopter Mum who missed them so much. 

• Architecture

• Design

• Drawing

• Family

• Iceland, etc. etc

These are all important pillars to me and so as I dive back into the studio, and my online courses, I’m opening up and sharing more about design, mindset, and all that is balancing business and motherhood in this next chapter of life. 

Stay tuned.

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if you are a mum getting back into work, what are your worries, fears, goals, hopes & dreams…

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10 Entrepreneurial Side Hustles

They say successful entrepreneurs have eight streams of income. That might sound like a lot to juggle but if you can turn a lot of them into passive income, as in set it up and go, or incorporate them into your lifestyle, then you’re onto a winner. Here are some entrepreneurial ideas for you to consider.

1. Etsy

Design and create products and artwork to sell in an online shop like Etsy. I have been running my Etsy shop for years now as a side hustle and it has brought in a nice little income. From offering commissions to selling my paintings, prints, and now Icelandic artwork, it has been something I have kept going and growing over that time.

Avoid postal costs and time by creating digital items like digital download prints, lists, calendars, etc. Etsy can be a fun way to monetize your hobbies, i.e. knitting, watercolour, painting, calligraphy, jewelry, etc. Check out my shop here.

2. Digital Artwork

Create digital artwork, print patterns, and lettering to sell on sites such as Society6, CafePress, etc. If you have skills in adobe then also try 99Designs. 

3. YouTube Channel

YouTube is a long game and takes a lot of work and dedication to be consistent. If you are thinking of jumping on YouTube to build a channel and earn an income from it, consider more of a tutorial-based channel than a vlog channel unless you already have an audience who you know would follow and watch.

Think about what you can share, teach, offer, and what people are searching for right now. If your aim is to grow and be monetized, make it work for you - smarter rather than harder. 

I started my YouTube channel to document my move to Iceland and later, our #IcelandFamilyLife adventures, and so on. I am so glad I did this as it is so fun to watch back and have all these memories literally recorded but it isn’t a big income maker. It takes a lot of work and dedication to grow your channel and build up those watch hours. Check out my YouTube channel here.

4. Teach Online

The best kind of passive income, in my opinion, is an online course. You can take a skill or experience you have and plan out the curriculum. Film the lessons and edit them into a set of classes. Upload to a teaching platform of your choice and let students enroll and learn over and over again.

Skillshare are great as they already offer a built-in audience of students looking to learn. You can earn a commission when a student signs up and whilst they’re taking your classes. If you already have an audience, offer your course on your own website using a site like Teachable.

You could also offer online tutoring via zoom or skype. Share what you know, i.e a language, drawing, music, cooking, etc, and get paid to do so. 

5. Online Freelancing

This might not make you a load of money quickly but it can be an easy way to use your time and talents. Check out sites like Fiverr and UpWork to pitch for roles big and small like editing and logo design to social media manager and virtual assistant. 

6. Content Creation

Blogging isn’t dead, and although it and Instagram can take a lot of time and effort to build up a following, it can be worth it to help promote your own products, courses, or affiliates. You can accept sponsored posts, adverts, can offer freelance content creation on other sites, and check out sites like Freelancer and UpWork too. 

7. Declutter

Let's all have a big old declutter and clear out. Not only does decluttering free the mind and make us feel better, but it could also earn you some money. Pull everything out and only put back what you want and need. Look at everything you have and see what you could sell either on your local Facebook marketplace, Facebook groups, rent a stall at a secondhand shop, or list items on eBay, etc. Look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves. 

8. Odd Jobs

There are probably loads of odd jobs you could do if you have some spare time. Have a think, they don’t need to be groundbreaking. Personal training, styling, personal shopper, dog walking, babysitting, cleaning, food delivery, mystery shopper, answering surveys, help writing or designing people’s CVs, and much more. 

9. Air BnB

If you have a spare room or are heading off for a long trip, why not consider rent out your space on Air BnB? We did this for a year or two here in Reykjavik (before kids) and met some great people from all over. It was fun having them stay, helping them plan out their trip, and giving them the inside local knowledge on things like the Northern Lights.

When we stopped listing our spare room on Air BnB, and it became Mia’s nursery, I ventured into the events space and offered Sketching Walking Tours on Reykjavik. This was a great way for me to get out and about, sketch as we went, and show people around my new home. I would meet them in one spot, show them around and give them some facts on the place, let them sketch for a few minutes, and offer up pointers when needed. We walked around for an hour and sometimes sat in a coffee shop if the Icelandic weather was too challenging. It was really fun - I only stopped due to Covid social distancing.

10. Digital Products

And finally, here’s a little dump of other things you could try:

• Have a transformational story to tell or skill to share, why not try creating an EBook, audiobook, or digital product to sell to an online audience.

• Sell templates you already use within your household or business.

• Look into dropshipping and create your own store.

• Become an affiliate for a program, course, and/or product you use and love.

• Create an Amazon shopfront and earn a small commission when you link to a recommended item and a sale is made. 

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DO YOU HAVE A SIDE HUSTLE?

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Easy Ways To Get Online & Be Found For The Right Reasons

I dare you…open an incognito window and Google yourself. What came up? Was it much, was it good, were there some surprises, are you proud of what you found, and does it represent you accurately? OK, let’s take a deeper dive into your online presence. 

Whether you like it or not, having an online presence is something that’s hard to avoid these days but it can be something that works for you. If you are a freelancer, self-employed, or looking for work then you will want to spend some time making sure your online presence is as good as your in-person impression. After all, first impressions count. 

The Basics To Check

• Facebook

• Instagram, Twitter & other social media

• Linkedin

• Personal websites

• Companies websites

• Other websites

Images

Take a look at your google image results. If the images are you and represent you well, great. But if they aren’t actually you, and you want them to be, you might need to look at where you can work on this. The easiest way to change this and start showing up in results is by adding your name into the alt text on your website, Pinterest, or wherever you have control of SEO. 

If you have a public Facebook account, the likelihood is that you are somewhere on the first page. You don’t need to worry too much about this but if the pictures that come up aren’t something you want to be associated with, start adding some pictures with your name in the file and alt text, and you’ll have a bit more luck with the results. 

Make accounts private that you aren’t happy for potential employers to see such as Instagram and consider deleting anything that isn’t appropriate anymore. Go through your Facebook and have a clean-up, consider also updating your security settings if you wish to not be searchable. What you show of yourself and your social life online can give a good insight into you as a person, team member, and potential representative of a company, so consider what your online presence says about you. 

Videos & YouTube

YouTube is a big part of our online life and it isn’t going anywhere. Honestly, how many of us have gone to YouTube to look something up and quickly learn something. It is a great platform and, if you want it to, it can be a great way to create community and let people into your life and/or work, aka behind the scenes. Of course, there’s more than just YouTube, you might have been featured in a documentary or interviewed and these show up.   

I have a vlog channel and am now working on an Architecture channel. This reaches both aims of letting people get to know me, connect with us as a family #IcelandFamilyLie and also helps build my business through video tutorials and more. Professional and personal, I have control of it and it works for me. I’ve found that it’s a good way to reach people, clients, and customers - but it is a lot of work. 

READ: HOW TO START A YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Maps & Your Contact Details

I can remember when a student once pointed out that it was obvious where I lived because Instagram had tagged my location on a lot of my recent posts (this feature has now been removed) but it was alarming that they could easily look on my feed and see where I had been, and where I’d posted a majority of pictures; ie at that time, my ‘home studio’. 

It can also be scary, and very annoying, when contact details are slipped into the public realm like your email or phone number, and you start attracting spam. Be very careful about where your details can be seen, and by whom. If you don’t want your email out there, take it off your Instagram bio and remove the contact button as it takes people right to an email page where they can copy your address. People can always DM you if you want them to contact you. 

Do a search every now and then to check what comes up. Having your contact details online can be a useful thing, especially if you have a brick and mortar but for obvious reason, protect yourself and your family. Don’t list your home address, or show clear pictures of where you live unless you want people to know and be able to visit.

If you sell items, have a return address you’re happy to list and if you want to receive samples or gifts, opt for something safer like a PO Box. 

5 Ways To Add To Or Change What’s Online Of You

1. Check all account Bio’s and update info

2. Update profile pictures to reflect the way you want to be seen, i.e a clear, professional headshot

3. Check over videos and add any that will help your online presence and better represent you

4. Build a simple website and add a portfolio section to show examples of your work (add your name to the alt text of images)

5. Check over the contents of any websites that you are associated with, i.e current employer, previous employers, etc.

Safety Online

Being online is almost inevitable. It’s wild to think back to the first time I went online and dialed up, or that I once attended a training on how to set up an email account - I’m sure my daughter will laugh at that. She will possibly just think that the internet was always around, what did we do before it?! And she will likely end up in a job that hasn’t even been created yet. 

We have no idea where it’s all going, it’s good and bad, scary and wonderful but at the end of the day safety is important. Yes, you can block certain websites in your control, in the safety of your own home, but don’t be put off by this. 

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Be aware, educated and protected, and make it work for you

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Finding Your Time In A Pandemic, Balance

I’ve been home with Mia for the last week, and on and off since before Easter - well, all year like everyone else really, what with restrictions changing all the time. It's tough and the end isn’t really in sight. I hope this post not only reassured you of how hard this 2021 non-balance thing is but that it inspires you to fight yourself for 'you' time - you’ll use it very wisely when you get it, trust me.

The Self Employed Working Mum

As a self-employed working from home Mum, I find balance a difficult one. Motherhood isn’t balanced, the scales tip and tip, and sometimes fall but we tell ourselves “this too shall pass” and it does. But recently, I have lost myself in this balance. 

Age 0-1

The first year of Motherhood was filled with bliss, discomfort, milestones, and guilt. I discovered what Mum-guilt was when I picked up my laptop…and then I felt equally as guilty when I wasn’t earning or financially contributing as much because I wasn’t as present in my business. Balance.

Age 1-2

The second year of Motherhood was fuelled with an inner pressure to make the time I had count. When Mia was in daycare, I’d work my butt off and was super hard on myself (I still am). I put too much pressure on myself, I wasn’t ever happy with what I was doing. It felt like it wasn’t enough. I was aiming to be a super Mum and super supportive to my husband, and super productive in my business. I had to learn that things had changed, that I had to cut myself some slack and to love myself. I was my worst boss. 

Age 2-3

I guess I’m now in the 3rd year of Motherhood so with a global pandemic, earthquakes, a volcanic eruption nearby, homesickness, and now pregnancy, what the heck even is balance anyway? 

Finding & Taking Some Time As A Mum

Today the Viking took a day out of his sick days and stayed home with Mia. She isn’t ill but had a temperature, and, in Covid times, we can completely understand the leikskóli (nursery) isn’t taking any chances.

But it hadn’t even occurred to me that he could take some time out and stay home with her. 

All too often, we Mums sacrifice ourselves and our time and stay home. I certainly don’t mean that Motherhood = a sacrifice I’m not willing to make, I would drop anything and everything for my family, but why is it that Mums are so often the ones to do it? - to put themselves second, or even last?

I work, my work is important, it gives me an identity and purpose, it helps others, it earns money, my work counts. And just because I work from home it doesn’t mean that because I am home, I’m just sitting around. 

Taking Myself & My Business Seriously

I often feel like I have to fight for the time and space to work, and it’s me I am fighting. As a Mum, Mia comes first. But that can be detrimental to the growth of my business, and to me. If I am not taking it seriously, why should anyone else? 

So today I got up and dressed, I did my hair and makeup (oh, it felt soo good), I put a spritz of my favorite perfume on, packed my work bag which has sat in my wardrobe for well over 6 months now, and explained to Mia that Mummy was going to work (which actually felt so good to do). I said goodbye to her and Daddy and headed out the door. I got in the car and drove to a quiet coffee shop where I ordered a coffee and opened my laptop. Within 45mins I had written two blog posts, both over 800 words. I messaged the Viking to say how good this felt. I had found my groove and was loving it. I stayed a while longer and tapped out another 900word post. It felt so good. 

Know The Value Of Your Time, Without Guilt

When you have the time, a few hours or even less, you make the most of that time and can truly get your head down and focus. I work so much smarter now I know what my time is worth to my family and to me. I know what I want to do for myself and my business, and in return, what that can do for my family. 

10 Steps To Help & Encourage You, You Mum Boss!!

1. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re doing great

2. It’s important for your child to see and know that Mummy goes to work

3. Just because you work at home, it doesn’t mean you’re just sitting around. Make sure people get that

4. If you’re not taking it seriously, why should anyone else?!

5. Work smarter rather than harder

6. Figure out what needs to be done in your business to make a difference and move the needle

7. Outsource anything else, where possible

8. Find yourself in your work again, it’s empowering and gives you purpose and identity - you are not just ‘Mum’ but you are so much more

9. But also remember, being a Mum is more than enough

10. Thank your partner/friend/family/babysitter for their time and support in building your dream, you’ll likely feel refreshed just from a few hours away

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so, Are you going to push for more ‘you time’?

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My Thoughts On Turning 40

I’m sharing my thoughts on turning 40 and opening up about life in my 30s and what I want to achieve in my 40s as a Wife, Mum, and Entrepreneur.

The Big 4-0

Society and the pressures it puts on us - how we're supposed to feel at the age of 40 - I think that's what puts a lot of pressure on people and is why people start getting scared of it or emotional, feeling like they haven't achieved enough in their life.

It's that idea of being ‘over the hill’, although that implies that your life is on a downhill spiral. It also means that your struggle to get up to the point in your life where you've maybe achieved your career, you've got your family, you have achieved the goals you've been working towards, you can start enjoying it and enjoy the fruits of that labor. And by that personally, I mean, my experiences.

Watch the video

My Life So Far

I've worked very hard at university to become an architect. It paid off. I became an architect. I traveled a lot. I managed to do my Masters in Japan, and I have a lot of things that I feel, yes, I worked blooming hard for, but there are amazing things that I've achieved and I achieved them by working really hard for them, and then became an architect, which is a career I still can't believe I even managed to get to. It wasn't however, a career that I necessarily enjoyed when I finally became it, and that's just something that happens in life.

Life Is Short

I learned in my late twenties, thirties, that life is short. And I learned that in a very hard way by losing my dad. I lost a lot of people in my family and in my personal life in my twenties to thirties where it really did teach me that life is short and you have to value and appreciate and be grateful for what you have. And if you want things in life, you got to work for them and that's what I've done.

Appreciate The Opportunities

Fast forward to me being in India teaching architecture, which is what I really love doing and in a crazy place. It just made me appreciate all of the opportunities and the upbringing that I had that gave me that down-to-earth work hard mentality that meant that I could put myself forward and achieve things and face challenges and enjoy the benefits of them.

I don't feel like I'm 40 and I don't feel like I look or act forte as well, because, in my mind, I can remember a surprise birthday for my dad when he turned 40 and I remember being picked up from school by my auntie and going home to either make or decorate the birthday cake to surprise my mum who was coming home from work on her 40th birthday. So to me, I remember my parents being 40, turning 40, and I guess life is very different these days. I mean, I had Mia at the age of 37. When she is 40, I will be 82, which is crazy. And I really hope that I am there to get to go party with her and celebrate it.

We Do Life In A Different Order These Days

I definitely put my career first and I achieved a lot. I have no regrets and having a family was very important to me, but things just came in a different order. And I don't think that that's something that we should stress or worry about.

I was in India, I had a great career, a great life. I was having so much fun, but I was living in a bubble when I really, really thought about it. This was not my real life. It wasn't what I actually wanted. And so at the age of 30 or 32, I took a good, hard look at that and I faced the reality that India was fun, but it wasn't where I wanted to be and I wasn't meeting the kind of person that I wanted to be with and I didn't think that I would necessarily find my Mr. Right there.

Take Control Of Life

I made the hard decision to move back, found a job in the UK and I taught in the university there. And on a strange weekend back in Edinburgh, I happened to bump into Ingimar and we met, and that was our paths crossing and the rest is history.

I did spend a lot of time when I lived in Bournemouth worrying that it was too late and I was 34 or something at the time. I was working very hard. I was traveling back and forth to India and doing lots of different trips to the British Council as well. I was living a very, very busy life and I probably was making it busy so that I felt fulfilled, but it wasn't the chapter in my life, the area in my life that I wanted that fulfillment. And I knew I wanted to meet someone and I wasn't really putting myself out there. And when I met Ingimar, it wasn't down to me, it wasn't down to him. I really do think it was someone else who got our paths to meet. And they did.

Long-Distance Love

We worked hard to stay in contact with each other. It was a year or more before I moved over here of long-distance dating. At that time, I was so worried that I'd left it too late to meet someone. I was too old to meet someone and for them to want to be with me. I did worry that meeting in our mid to late thirties, there would be baggage. Of course, there's going to be baggage, but I did worry what that baggage might be. It's very different than meeting someone in your twenties. And I also worried that maybe I wouldn't be able to have kids and I'd left it too late and maybe the person that I met wouldn't want kids or would already have kids. And although that would be fine and I would accept it, I did really want to have children of my own.

Kids…Menopause?

I was also in a very crazy stressed-out position where I hadn't actually had a period for numerous months and a part of my brain was telling myself that I was getting too old. And so maybe every month when my period didn't come or came late, I was worried that that was it, and I was starting menopause mid-thirties, which thank goodness it wasn't and it was just stress and I needed to look after myself and get my priorities back in line. And I did.

Getting It All

When I met Ingimar, I really focused on, "Okay, you've done your career, but if you want to settle down and make this work with this Icelandic guy, then let's do that." And so that's what I did. Fast forward a year or so, we got engaged. I moved to Iceland, planned our wedding, and then we fell pregnant. So actually, I have to say, I got it all and I'm so incredibly grateful for that.

Happily Ever After

We now have this amazing little family and a great life here. And it's so different from what I was doing 10 years ago. I'm totally fine with that, and I think that's what happens when you turn 40.

Everyone says you get this perspective, you calm down, things don't worry you as much, which I'm going to be enjoying that. But I do think that I've gained a bit more perspective and inner peace, and I'm very grateful for what I've achieved in my life and what I built in my life, what we've done together.

In The Past 10 Years

I have changed careers, I had moved to three countries and I'm very happy to say that now I live a positive and very creative life. I know where I want to be, and I know what I want to achieve and I'm just working towards those goals.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

A lot of people tell me that in my forties, I'm not going to sweat the small stuff, worry about the small things, and I'm not going to care so much about what people think of me. Now, this is something I'm really looking forward to because I worry way too much about people's opinions, what people think of me, what people think about what I do if they think that I'm earning enough money and contributing enough. I worry about so many things and it's such a waste of my time and my energy and it creates negativity. I want to care about Mia and about Ingimar and about my family and friends, obviously, I want to care about myself, but I want to focus on the right things and use my energy for the right stuff.

Birthdays In COVID Times

We're very lucky here in Iceland, The pools are open so I managed to go for a swim on my birthday, which was an absolute treat. Ingimar and Mia were both out at school and work and so I had the day to myself to pamper myself, do some reading, do some journaling, call some friends.

I wrote a pop quiz, a kind of Zoom quiz for the evening time. We had dinner together, just the three of us and then we popped on a Zoom call with my family and we did a little quiz, which was just fun questions. There was a picture round, kind of a facts round, travel round, an architecture round, and so on. I can't remember who won, but it was definitely good fun. And then I sat on the sofa with a slice of cake that I bought for myself because I knew if you want a piece of cake on your birthday and everyone's too busy, you got to look after yourself and just get that piece of cake. But it was a lovely day and just very chilled out.

I was very, very lucky that two weeks after, we managed to have a little girl's weekend away. So it was just me and three close friends. We went away to a local town here called Hveragerði and we had an apartment for the weekend. We just did walks, went for coffee, went to flower shops, and just chatted over some good food and some nice bubbly and just had a really, really good time.

Changes I’ve Noticed

I definitely notice more wrinkles or maybe I'm just more aware of them. I know that I have grey hair right in the smack center of my fringe and it's poker straight compared to my usually curly hair.

On my mum's wedding day a year ago now, yep, I noticed my first grey eyebrow hair. I didn't even think that was really a thing, but of course, it's going to be.

I have also noticed that in my eyes, I need to go for another optical checkup because when I'm looking at the menu on the TV now, I have to squint my eyes to see. So yep, as they say, when you turn 40, your eyesight starts to really go.

What’s My Purpose

As a mum of a toddler who takes up quite a lot of time and energy and attention, I don't actually have a huge amount of time to work on my own things. At the moment I am working towards creating my legacy. And I know that sounds really dramatic, but for the last, I don't know, five, six years, which is a long enough time, I have really wanted or had this idea of creating a place for architecture and interior design students to go to, to feel like they're supported and that they can get access to tools and advice. And just somewhere for them to go that isn't an Architect but isn't also their lecturer.

I feel like this is something I would have really benefited from and I feel like I have the experience and I have all those stories, I've been through it myself, and that's what I want to share now, that's my legacy that I want to build. And I want to do it, not only for me, and for Mia to look up to her mommy and all of that kind of thing. But I think deep down inside because my dad passed away when I was younger and I looked up to him.

I want to create something for those students and those young designers, entrepreneurs, but I also want to give it to Mia and any siblings that she might have in the future. And so that's my legacy that I want to work towards. And I think that when you are in your late thirties, forties, you're not quite thinking about yourself anymore.

Building A Legacy

In your twenties and thirties, you're working so hard on your career and your achievements and your goals and it's all about me, me, me, or not all about me, me, me. But in your late thirties, forties, you want to think about what was it all for? And I suppose this is like the forties to fifties, maybe. I really feel the entrepreneurial thing, the spirit, and I think I got loud from India, but I want to give back and I want to create something that we can be proud of as a family. And this is it. So watch this space to see what I create and achieve.

Do you agree with this idea of thinking about your purpose and what it is you can give back in life and leave as a legacy as well?

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what are your thoughts on turning 40?

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