I’ve been home with Mia for the last week, and on and off since before Easter - well, all year like everyone else really, what with restrictions changing all the time. It's tough and the end isn’t really in sight. I hope this post not only reassured you of how hard this 2021 non-balance thing is but that it inspires you to fight yourself for 'you' time - you’ll use it very wisely when you get it, trust me.
The Self Employed Working Mum
As a self-employed working from home Mum, I find balance a difficult one. Motherhood isn’t balanced, the scales tip and tip, and sometimes fall but we tell ourselves “this too shall pass” and it does. But recently, I have lost myself in this balance.
Age 0-1
The first year of Motherhood was filled with bliss, discomfort, milestones, and guilt. I discovered what Mum-guilt was when I picked up my laptop…and then I felt equally as guilty when I wasn’t earning or financially contributing as much because I wasn’t as present in my business. Balance.
Age 1-2
The second year of Motherhood was fuelled with an inner pressure to make the time I had count. When Mia was in daycare, I’d work my butt off and was super hard on myself (I still am). I put too much pressure on myself, I wasn’t ever happy with what I was doing. It felt like it wasn’t enough. I was aiming to be a super Mum and super supportive to my husband, and super productive in my business. I had to learn that things had changed, that I had to cut myself some slack and to love myself. I was my worst boss.
Age 2-3
I guess I’m now in the 3rd year of Motherhood so with a global pandemic, earthquakes, a volcanic eruption nearby, homesickness, and now pregnancy, what the heck even is balance anyway?
Finding & Taking Some Time As A Mum
Today the Viking took a day out of his sick days and stayed home with Mia. She isn’t ill but had a temperature, and, in Covid times, we can completely understand the leikskóli (nursery) isn’t taking any chances.
But it hadn’t even occurred to me that he could take some time out and stay home with her.
All too often, we Mums sacrifice ourselves and our time and stay home. I certainly don’t mean that Motherhood = a sacrifice I’m not willing to make, I would drop anything and everything for my family, but why is it that Mums are so often the ones to do it? - to put themselves second, or even last?
I work, my work is important, it gives me an identity and purpose, it helps others, it earns money, my work counts. And just because I work from home it doesn’t mean that because I am home, I’m just sitting around.
Taking Myself & My Business Seriously
I often feel like I have to fight for the time and space to work, and it’s me I am fighting. As a Mum, Mia comes first. But that can be detrimental to the growth of my business, and to me. If I am not taking it seriously, why should anyone else?
So today I got up and dressed, I did my hair and makeup (oh, it felt soo good), I put a spritz of my favorite perfume on, packed my work bag which has sat in my wardrobe for well over 6 months now, and explained to Mia that Mummy was going to work (which actually felt so good to do). I said goodbye to her and Daddy and headed out the door. I got in the car and drove to a quiet coffee shop where I ordered a coffee and opened my laptop. Within 45mins I had written two blog posts, both over 800 words. I messaged the Viking to say how good this felt. I had found my groove and was loving it. I stayed a while longer and tapped out another 900word post. It felt so good.
Know The Value Of Your Time, Without Guilt
When you have the time, a few hours or even less, you make the most of that time and can truly get your head down and focus. I work so much smarter now I know what my time is worth to my family and to me. I know what I want to do for myself and my business, and in return, what that can do for my family.
10 Steps To Help & Encourage You, You Mum Boss!!
Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re doing great
It’s important for your child to see and know that Mummy goes to work
Just because you work at home, it doesn’t mean you’re just sitting around. Make sure people get that
If you’re not taking it seriously, why should anyone else?!
Work smarter rather than harder
Figure out what needs to be done in your business to make a difference and move the needle
Outsource anything else, where possible
Find yourself in your work again, it’s empowering and gives you purpose and identity - you are not just ‘Mum’ but you are so much more
But also remember, being a Mum is more than enough
Thank your partner/friend/family/babysitter for their time and support in building your dream, you’ll likely feel refreshed just from a few hours away
