Balancing Business and Motherhood

You might have noticed my content is moving a little more towards architecture, drawing, and, in general, entrepreneurship. Life is and should be, after all, about natural growth and constant evolution. 

First off, let’s just say balance doesn’t exist the way we imagine it to. Work and family aren’t equal. The scales tip in either direction at different times of the day, week, month, or year. So that notion of fair, or equal is nonexistent. 

As a Mum

You are in the trenches of it all. All the noise, all the mess, all the milestones, all the joy, all of it almost all the time. 

Then they go to school and you miss it ALL. 

As an Architect

You live and breathe architecture. You know when someone’s an architect, you can spot them a mile away. They’re the odd one, wearing black, probably with funky glasses, and touching (or knocking on) all surfaces of a built structure. 

I have a sketchbook in the nappy bag and I have nappies in my Kate Spade laptop bag. 

But the two worlds don’t (don’t) easily blend. 

You’ve heard it before.

The identity of a woman changes when she becomes a Mum

It’s hard to explain - this might resonate with you or you might disagree. This didn’t happen to me until my kids went to nursery. So I kinda felt left out of this feeling until then. Until I realized these little monkeys had been my 24/7 for 2+ years each and I didn’t know how to go back to ‘normal life’ now they were off with their wee gangs at Leikskoli. 

…Did I want to? 

Oh my. That’s a scary thought. 

Designing out the next chapter

So I’m doing what I do best. I am designing. But I’m designing my life, my 9-3:30…until I can pick them up again, and yes, early because I am that helicopter Mum who missed them so much. 

• Architecture

• Design

• Drawing

• Family

• Iceland, etc. etc

These are all important pillars to me and so as I dive back into the studio, and my online courses, I’m opening up and sharing more about design, mindset, and all that is balancing business and motherhood in this next chapter of life. 

Stay tuned.

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if you are a mum getting back into work, what are your worries, fears, goals, hopes & dreams…

You Are Your Most Valuable Asset

Self-employed or not, you are your most valuable asset. When you work for yourself, you are your own boss - perhaps the only employee so this is especially true. You might be feeling this, that the work just doesn’t get done unless you are working on it (or in it); creating the vision, planning out the ideas, moving the needle, and hustling. For this, and many other reasons, you’ve got to take care of your physical and mental health.

This is something I thought I had down, but it turns out I didn’t and I’ve been struggling recently with valuing myself.

If you want to be happy, you have to make yourself happy. If you want to get back into shape, you have to make it happen. If you have a dream, you have to make it happen. You need to take responsibility for your life and the direction it’s going in. You owe it to yourself - the cold, hard truth is that no one else is going to do it.

Always invest in yourself, and absorb soul-fulfilling material

Seek out motivational materials and courses, podcasts, events, and so on. Read actual books, highlight them, and write out takeaway points.

Here are some to consider reading:

• Atomic Habits

• How to win friends and influence people

• The slight edge

• The almanack of naval Ravikant

• Show Your Work

• The 4-Hour Workweek

• The mountain is you

• The despite map

• The E Myth

• Hell Yeah or No

• Anything You Want

• The Millionaire Messenger

• 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think

• You’re a badass

Listen to podcasts

Listen to your fave podcasts as you drive, or better still, as you take a walk and reconnect with nature.

Some podcasts I’m currently listening to are:

• The Goal Digger Podcast

• The Brendon Show

• Limitless Life

• The BossBabe Podcast

Surround yourself with like-minded, positive people

Surround yourself with people who energize you and make you feel inspired, these people should not drain you of energy. People who have the same goals and understand you. They are your tribe.

Don’t be afraid to cleanse your friendship group and start to distance yourself from certain people. Protect your time, your energy, and your focus.

Take online courses - invest in yourself, your education, and your skillset

The best investment is to invest in yourself.

The best way to recession-proof yourself is to better your value; your skills and knowledge, and what you can bring to a role, a job, a project, a person. Learn that software that you have been meaning to, and go take a course in it if you know it is what your job will require soon, if not now. Brush up on a language or skill, or whatever it is.

I know that learning Icelandic will only serve to help me in my life here in Iceland, in my family, and to feel more settled living in Iceland. I could enroll in an evening class or an online course. In my business, there are always new skills I can be learning and working on; design software I need to brush up on. It’s all about prioritizing.

That being said, you are worth the investment and it will only help you grow.

Attend events

Whether for fun or as a networking opportunity. Don’t be shy. Don’t back out at the last minute. Show up. Meeting people in real life beats social media connections any day.

Show up as yourself and be genuine. Ask the questions, take the notes, introduce yourself and make real connections - listen to the people you meet and try to remember something about them. Networking is not about letting people know about you but it works both ways. Would you recognize that person the following day and remember what you first talked about?

You will meet a lot of people but, much like dating, when you meet people that fall into the interesting category, they might just become part of your ‘tribe’. Pay close attention to them as you probably have a lot to learn from them.

And if you are still chasing that number on social media - if you want followers, be someone worth following.

Talk about your work and what you do

Don’t hold it back like it’s some special secret. If you aren’t sharing it then it doesn’t exist and so it doesn’t matter.

People who are self-employed are often misunderstood by family and friends. For example, I honestly think my family thinks I’m just sitting at home waiting for their facetime calls, but that’s on me more than them. It’s up to me to explain what I do and when I do it. To share my work and its process. Easier said than done.

The way you talk about yourself and your work has a huge effect on how people feel and understand you. Don’t be shy but don’t show off. Learn where that happy medium is for you and for your audience. The same works the other way round. The way people feel and understand you will affect your work so be very aware of how you are showing up and talking about yourself and your work.

Therapy - it’s good to talk

And if you can’t talk about yourself or your work, or feel like you don’t deserve to, then you really need to address this before you can go anywhere.

We all need to express ourselves and it’s healthy to talk, to let it out. Yes, therapy can be pricey but there are online options that are more affordable and possibly fit into your lifestyle a little more. Start small, speak to your partner or a good friend first. Letting someone in, especially your partner is a healthy step in your relationship. It might feel awkward, and you might get emotional, but you will likely both benefit from it.

Yes, we all feel stressed at some point. Be aware and know that this is normal. It’s not ok but it is normal. We also feel sadness, anger, joy, happiness, and everything in between. But be aware that stress, like other emotions, manifests in us, in our bodies, and in our relationships, and you want to keep any personal issue from leaking into work.

Stepping back into the self-employed working Mum life as a family of 4; a toddler and a newborn, with very little family support around us, has been incredibly stressful. Of course, there are highs, and they are often very high, but the lows can be very low. Mix in a global pandemic, a potential recession, and all the struggles of the last few years and you have one exhausted self-employed working Mum (said with a grateful heart).

Be proactive and find a productive way to manage your stress.

And whilst I’m here, get the calm app (or similar) and give meditation a try

Move your body

We all know this but are you doing it? Look after your body so your future self can move.

I recently got an apple watch, haha, but it’s actually helping me move a little more. I obey the message that pings and suggests I stand up, and I love a good challenge so you know I’m working to complete those rings every day.

I’m not here to tell you to get a gym membership or start t train for a marathon, maybe try ‘couch to 5k’ first. Every time you workout, your body releases the natural hormone of endorphins. Endorphins make you feel good, they help with pain relief and can actually reduce stress and improve your mood, so why not get them flowing.

You only have one body so look after it. Exercise often isn’t a priority, especially when growing a business or juggling a full-time job with a side hustle. But being sedentary and working at your desk all day just isn’t good for you. Get a standing desk, take breaks and go outside - do whatever it takes to start moving your body and incorporating that into your day.

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do you feel like you are your most valuable asset?

Do What You Love, and the sh*t that comes with it

What does ‘doing what you love’ really mean, and look like?

Since moving to Iceland 4 years ago now, I have worked for myself. Working for myself is an easy phrase to type or say but the action of making it happen and being successful, as in profitable, is a different story. Working for myself looks like running this blog, posting on Instagram (now 2 accounts), collaborations, filming editing and uploading videos to YouTube, running an Etsy shop, commissions, online course creation, client interior and architecture projects and all the marketing and admin that come with it. I don’t say yes to everything, it’s not all fun and games. I’ve learnt many lessons along the way so I wanted to take a minute and discuss what working for yourself and ‘doing what you love’ really looks like.

Build a life you love

People today seem to think that they can find their passion and do that every day, all day long. Easy, right? Your life will be amazing. Your work will be wonderful. You’ll never be bored. You’ll never get stressed. You’ll never have money worries, and you’ll only do what you want to do.

In reality, all that is kind of false.

Everyone’s an Entrepreneur

I feel like I hear this everywhere I turn right now. On blogs, Instagram, podcasts, YouTube, Facebook. Maybe that’s just a reflection of what I’m listening to and attracting but is it true? Are we in a generation of entrepreneurs?

Most entrepreneurs start out either with an idea or a solution. The main aim is to make a difference, either in someone’s life or as an impact on the world. A lot of these entrepreneurs will claim they can teach you how to ‘build a life you love’, ‘'build your business’, ‘build your following’, etc and a lot of them are very successful at it - if you’re willing to put in the hard work then hopefully you’ll see results. This can, of course, make a difference in your life, work and purpose. But then it doesn’t appeal or apply to everyone. Not everyone wants to, or should, be their own boss.

80/20

Running your own business can take about 80% of your time (spent on marketing, admin, etc) to allow for the creative part, that part that you’re really passionate about, and there’s only 20% of your time remaining. It’s a juggle and a struggle, and it’s not often how you imagined you’d be spending your time.

Live a Creative Life

As creatives, our personalities don’t necessarily lend themselves to being the boss - at least not straight away. My advice is to build up loads of experience, learn from others. Work in different companies, on different projects, with different clients, and budgets, and problems. Try hard, ask questions, work late, stick around, sit in on meetings you don’t need to be in (if allowed), offer ideas, find solutions, build your confidence.

I’m not one to quote Oprah but she said “Are you going to get bored with your job, yes. Are you going to get restless, yes. Are you going to love every second of it, no”…“Your job is not always going to fulfil you.” And of course she’s right, there will be days where you don’t feel like going…go anyway. “Your job is not who you are, it’s just what you’re doing on the way to who you will become.”

Building a working framework isn’t glamorous

Routine is important in life, in work, in our jobs and in building a framework for our future self. Think of your future self. Think back 1, 2, 5, 10 years ago and imagine what you would say to yourself about growth and personal development. Now think 1, 2, 5, 10 years ahead and start working on what that future self needs, now. Massive question…Are you happy in your life, where it’s going and in what you have achieved so far? If no, doing just read on, it’s time to make a plan and start it today.

Become an Expert

Routine can be boring, mundane but the action of doing something over and over and over again, eventually makes you become an expert. Over that time you will no doubt get good at it. Now apply this thinking to your skillset, especially the items you aren’t so keen on; sketching, CAD, writing, presenting, making phone calls.

This has helped me with things like working under pressure. Sure, it gets easier with time, you learn how to respond to pressure and priorities. Juggling it all is something I still find challenging, and probably will for a long time; projects, clients, employees (haha Ingimar), contractors (both online and off), suppliers (both online and off), and deadlines.

Clients

Working with clients is possibly one of the best and most challenging parts of my work. The best for obvious reasons; you wouldn’t be working without them, but clients often don’t understand the process, or that they might not be your only client at one time, yet they will demand your attention and creativity whether you’re ready or not. I’ve had a client give a project brief on a Monday and they’ve expected ideas to follow pretty much instantly.

“It doesn’t matter what you do and how much you love it, you will still have a tonne of sh*t you have to deal with in order to do what you love.” - Marie Forleo

Wearing all the hats

Facing the good and the bad in business is a necessity, it’s just how it works. Working for myself means I wear many hats, some I don’t like as much as others, some I wish I didn’t have to wear (especially on Monday mornings). For me, like many, that’s unanswered emails and following up on phone calls. But my biggest pet business peeve is having to chase up fees from clients who haven’t paid - it’s so disrespectful and rude.

Be your own Boss, in time

Having said all that, I love it and it’s all worth it. I love Layoutlines, I love Iceland Family Life, I love my work, I love working for myself and I love that I’m building my little empire. But remember it takes time. Respect the time it takes to build your empire. Those who rush, make mistakes.

Yes, I get impatient at times, I want to see the numbers higher and the pressure less. But all of that comes from my boss; me. That’s what being your own boss sometimes looks like. And that’s completely normal, we all do it. So I keep on writing these blog posts, picking up my camera, doing commissions, designs for clients, chasing fees, opening emails, and replying to DMs. You just have to do the ‘sh*t’ to make the good stuff keep happening.

Let’s embrace all the stuff we don’t necessarily love about building our empires and think of our future self. Turn up to work, even when we don’t want to. And once we are in a routine, going with the flow, open to new ideas - that’s when the magic will happen. What do you think?